Give Time - Not Toys

by Joyce Moseley Pierce

I've always jokingly referred to my daughter's house

as an annex to Toys 'R Us because her kids have thousands

of dollars worth of toys and games to choose from. 

They have a pool, a swing set, and now a hot tub. 

There's plenty to do to keep a child entertained.

At our place, we don't keep much here for them to play

with.  There's a reason for that.  When they come over,

I want to create memories by playing with them - not

just giving them things to do. The things I do have

include beads, blocks, pipe cleaners and yarn.  By not

giving them anything with set directions, they can

use their imaginations and create whatever they

want with these simple items that can be purchased

at the dollar store or craft store.

The kids are three and six, and some of their

favorite things to play don't require anything

at all except another person!  Their favorites

include hide and seek, or the "monster game," which

means that they hide under the covers, and we

pretend we're trying to pull them off the bed. 

One holds on to the other to try to save them

from the monster.  They think it's the best

game in the world, but what I like about it is

watching them protect each other against the

monster.

They also love light sticks.  Go into a dark room

and break open the light sticks and they can

sword fight with each other until the lights

burn out.  We'll connect them into small circles

and then play ring toss, bringing the vertical paper

towel holder in from the kitchen to catch the rings. 

They'll make belts and bracelets and like to watch the

lights reflected in the mirror as they jump around. 

We find these light sticks at the dollar store and

buy 10 or 12 packages at a time!

The latest entertainment involved using two strands

of red beads that are meant to be draped around

the Christmas tree.  They each wanted a bowl to

put their strand in.  I had no idea what they had

in mind, but gave it to them and stood back to see what

they were going to do. Next, they wanted spoons, and

then proceeded to make "spaghetti soup."  They

stirred and stirred those red beads, telling us

how good their creation tasted.  They offered to

let us sample it and of course we made a fuss

about how delicious it was. 

I remembered how their mother used to love having

her own kitchen.  We never had any money, so I

would take boxes and draw on them so they looked

like appliances.  She could occupy herself for

hours in her little world.  I told the kids about

how she loved to do that, and then went to find a

box for them.  I drew burners on the top with a

thick magic marker and told them their stove was ready to

be used.  I gave them hot pad holders and told them

to be careful they didn't get burned.  Pretty

soon, one of them was cooking and the other one was

taking orders on a pad of paper.  The cook would

then deliver the order to us.  We laughed as she

held the plate up over her head like the waiters

in the restaurant do, and then watched her

bow down as she served us.  We're not sure where

she picked that up, but it was just too cute.

This went on for probably two hours.  We were

running out of ideas for things for them to cook.

I can't remember the last time I laughed for

two hours.  It was better than going to a movie

and expecting to be entertained.  Not only did we

have fun, but they did, too. There was no bickering

or fighting between them.  They worked together and

were totally and completely happy.  They went to bed

exhausted, and ate cereal on their magic stove the

next morning.  When they went home later that day, I

flipped it over and returned it to its place in my

office to hold oversized envelopes.  Maybe some day

we'll drag it out again.  Who knows what we might

use it for next time!

The key to all of this was that we were giving

them our total attention.  They didn't care that

the stove was nothing more than a cardboard box. It

didn't matter to them that it wasn't molded plastic

plastic with some popular name on it.  They didn't need

water or anything messy to stir.  They were creative

and used their imaginations to create a magical evening,

and as long as we reciprocated by complimenting their

efforts, they were in heaven.

Copyright 2005 by Joyce Moseley Pierce. Visit

www.emersonpublications.com to read more of

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