How MUCH Do I Love Thee?
by: Joyce Moseley Pierce

February is the month when we typically look for
ways to express our love to others. I can't help
but think of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's classic
poem, "How Do I Love Thee?"

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, -- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death."

While many of us know the first line of this poem,
how many of us have really read and thought about
the depths of her love expressed here?

I especially like the last line. "I shall love thee
better after death." As a Christian, I believe
the love I have for my family is eternal. My mortal
life will one day end but the love I have for them
will live on forever. Likewise, they will continue
to love me, long after I'm gone, and one day there
will be a joyful reunion on the other side.

There is nothing more important to us than our
families and other loved ones. We often take for
granted that our spouses, children, or grandchildren
will always be there for us. While we naturally
assume that our parents will die before we do,
that's not always the case. My father died before
his parents, and my brother died before my mother.
The family foundation that we build our lives
on can be changed in an instant.

We know that death is inevitable. It will come
to all of us. We may not like to think about it
but it's true. If we can just deal with the
reality of it, there are some steps we can take
to make this transition easier for those we leave
behind.

We can show our loved ones how much we love them
by educating and preparing them.

Did you know that there are at least 100 things
the survivor must do when death occurs? It is
so important to talk to your family now so they
will not have the unnecessary burden of dealing
with these things while experiencing the initial
stages of grief.

Here are just a few things to consider:

Tell them where they'll find your will. If you don't
have one, now's the time to have one drawn up. It's
important to have a current will that's authorized
in the state in which you currently live.

Don't hide any insurance policies from them. If
they don't know you have them, they won't know to
make a claim.

Let them know who to notify at time
of death. You probably have friends they're not
aware of. Be sure they know how to find them.

Make sure they know if you've made arrangements
for your own funeral. It won't help them any if
you've kept this a secret.

Tell them where you want to be buried. Do you want
your final resting place to be "back home" or in the
state where you currently reside?

Does your family know if you have chosen to be
an organ donor? This is something that needs to
be known immediately.

Record this information and let them know where
they'll be able to find it when the time comes.
Don't make them tear the house apart looking
for it. Don't set them up for disagreeing over
the options when emotions are already high.

In addition to helping ease the emotional burden
on your family, think about the financial burden.
Most people overspend on funerals because they
have to make immediate decisions. Do your own
homework. Research your options before there's
a need...and then write it all down for them.

Show them how much you love them by taking
care of these matters now. Don't leave your
loved ones guessing.


Copyright 2005 Joyce Moseley Pierce
mailto:joyce@emersonpublications.com
Joyce is a freelance writer and owner of Emerson Publications.
She is the creator of "All They'll Need to Know," a
32-page workbook designed to guide your family in your absence.
http://www.emersonpublications.com/atntk.htm
She is also the editor of The Family First Newsletter, an ezine for
families with young children.
http://www.emersonpublications.com/famfirst.htm
For work-at-home opportunities, visit
www.familyfirst.fourpointconsultants.com