The Family First
Newsletter
Promoting family unity one issue at a time
Vol. 10 Issue 15 - Week of April 9, 2007
ISSN: 1527-6201
©2007 - Joyce Pierce --All Rights Reserved
In this issue:
All They Need Is Love
What Do We Tell Our Kids?
The Benefit of Exercising at an Early Age
All It Takes is a Decision
Good morning!
This has been a busy
time for us. We've had family visiting, having
one person leave and another one arrive. It's
been great. I hope your Easter season was a
good one.
As I finish this newsletter, it looks like our twin
granddaughters will be delivered tomorrow!
This is earlier than expected, but we're all anxious
for their arrival. You can be sure I'll give
you an update next week.
Please forward
this issue to someone who may benefit from it!
Joyce Pierce
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All They Need Is Love
by Linda Milo
The Beatles wrote a very famous song entitled, “All You Need Is Love.” This song brought both joy and tears to people around the world. Empathy, caring, and love are truly what most of us need to feel as if we belong and are capable of positive self-expression as warm human beings.
Where does empathy, caring, and love develop? Behavioral biologists and psychologists have questioned this extensively and have concluded that a system of neurotransmitters and peptide hormones (also known as oxytocin, only found in mammals) affect the regulation and mediation for human bonding. This hormone lends itself to positive emotions, which relate to social and family connections. All positive and caring experiences, in both children and adults, strengthen positive emotions and social bonding. Proper caregiving to a child contributes greatly to the growth of a child’s mental and social capabilities.
In a study done by Harlow in 1958, infant rhesus monkeys were taken away from their mothers at birth. They were placed in a cage that had two kinds of surrogate mothers. One was a wire mesh mother that provided structural support and milk and the other was a wire mesh mother covered with terrycloth (with no milk). Both mothers had a face drawn on cardboard and were shaped in the figure of a mother monkey. When given the chance, the infant monkeys hugged the terrycloth mother most of the day and only when they were truly thirsty would to go the wire mesh mother for milk. They always quickly returned to the terrycloth mother. The monkeys that were raised in this experiment, in complete isolation from other monkeys, developed the type of pathologies sometimes seen in neglected and abused human children. The monkeys’ capability for caring had been almost totally inhibited because of the experiences they had been exposed to in their childhood. When they took the monkeys and placed them with other monkeys, the rhesus monkeys would stare into space, hug and rock themselves, and hit and bit indiscriminately.
The conclusion: The kind of care your infant receives affects the neurochemistry of brain development. Your infant is strongly affected by the presence of, or the absence of, an early pleasurable social experience with parents and their peers.
Here are four tools every parent should know about in raising a healthy and balanced child.
First: Every child needs time and attention from their parents. Quality time that means you listen, play, spend time with, and empathize with your child daily. Help your child express their feelings and be engaged when you are with them and not distracted by your own harried life. Become a participant your child’s life as often as possible. Acknowledge their presence and give them verbal and physical (hugs, kisses) appreciation.
Second: Nurture your child by communication and connecting as a family. Have that “rule” that states the family comes together every evening to share dinner. At the dinner table, you will discover through conversation what your child is doing and thinking. This is one of the best ways to share your time and attention with your child. Become genuinely interested in your child’s day and life. It will bring you closer together and should also add a bundle of laughs to your table.
Third: Let your child know that their education is very important to you. Become aware of your child’s teachers, course work, friends, and school functions in which you should participate. Your child spends a greater part of the day at school, so find out what’s happening to your child during that time.
Four: Acceptance. Just accept your child for who he is and always differentiate between him as a person and his often-wild behavior. Acceptance means appreciating what he does well and appreciating what he doesn’t do well.
Our early pleasurable emotional experiences influence the development of brain chemistry, structure, and ultimately our behavior. Empathy, caring, and love make us human. When you extend your arms to your child, when you listen to what he has to say, and when you include him in family bonding functions, you are helping to create the development of a healthy human being – the same person who will touch the lives of many others in a truly positive way throughout their lifetime.
Linda Milo is known as The Parent-Child Connection Coach. Linda is a single mother who raised six children. She was also a nursery and middle school teacher, as well as a volunteer with pregnant teens. She truly understands the challenges facing parents today and coaches parents so that they can know the REAL joys of parenthood. Go to
www.empoweringparentsnow.com and sign up for a FREE consultation in parenting.
Linda Milo may be contacted at http://empoweringparentsnow.com or linda@empoweringparentsnow.com
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What Do We Tell Our Kids?
by Arleen Kaptur
What Do We Tell Our Kids? by: Arleen M. Kaptur
The responsibility of raising children is not only given to the parents or immediate caregivers. Everyone in the world, believe it or not, has a hand in what your child experiences and what they are taught to believe and achieve.
Just pick up any newspaper or turn on the TV or car radio. The headlines may not mean anything to a small child, but the consequences of war, devastation, sanctions, and other national disasters do. Children learn to be prejudiced by hearing about loyalty to their own kind, or to fear those of other colors, nationalities, or religions. This is just not a given in our country, but it is world-wide. If the pictures on TV show "different" people being assaulted, arrested, or demeaned in any way, if the show of force is hailed as right, and if "...number of deaths" is a victory, then what your child is embracing is a world where solutions to peace are not a reality, but war is. What does a parent do in such cases, but especially if you find yourself falling into the grip of these beliefs as well.
We all want our children to be complete individuals who make the right choices, are successful, and find joy and love in this world. The task seems daunting, but certainly is not impossible. When a child is very young, then shielding them from "reality" views is an option, but as they get older, mingle with other children, and "see" things for themselves, then the job gets a bit harder. As a given, parents or caregivers do have the most influence and if "war" on the homefront is an everyday occurrence, then the news will not make a difference. However, if when trouble arises, families pull together, seek answers, and try whatever it takes to find peace and unity, then they are on the road to succeeding in raising children of exceptional insight and beliefs. If death and destruction is not hailed as a "victory", then this child will learn that harming others in any way is not the way to reach the end. It certainly does not make them any richer, brighter, or safer. As they gain in maturity, then they will carry this ideal with them and hopefully, then will share it with others in positions that have impact on national choices and decisions. The home is actually the cradle for tomorrow's leaders and those that will bring peace to a world that has gone a bit off the deep end. What happens at home, how the family reacts, and what steps are taken to correct anything perceived as wrong or a danger are beacons that will shine brightly in adult choices.
When you look at your little one and realize that your every word and action is programmed into that beautiful space of mind and morals, then it is truly a task that should be embraced with every attempt at making the right work and the wrong proved just that - wrong.
Whether your child is 6 months or 6 years or 16 years of age, they are "seeing" more than you think and they are assimilating knowledge, and facts and figures that would astound you. That small wonder of life is a warehouse for everything that goes on around and everything that is perceived, discovered, and felt. The job may be of huge proportions and make you feel that you are not up to the task, but a higher power has set parents and caregivers there to reach these heights and to send into the future world the individuals that will make life what it always was meant to be and should be - it only takes a few short years to create a lifetime that will stand the test of time and world events. You can do it, but more importantly, you have to do it. Your future is entwined in this web of human life just as strongly as any other person and working together for the same goal of making sure that life is all its cracked up to be is a reality and not just for a certain few - but for everyone. It is up to you - and it is for you as well. There can't be any argument that can stand up against these statements. The world is ours to make or break, and certainly our young ones are the beacons of tomorrow - let's make sure that these "lights" are strong, bright, and free, as well as loving, caring, and safe. Arleen M. Kaptur ©February, 2007
Owner of A & J Northwoods that features
crafts, gifts, fresh and gourmet foods.
Arleen has written numerous articles for newspapers and magazines.
For a complete list please contact Arleen at
asnorthwoods@centurytel.net
Arleen Kaptur may be contacted at or asnorthwoods@centurytel.net
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The Benefit of Exercising at an Early Age
by Anton Winkler
It is important to start exercise at a young age and keep exercising through your whole life.
You know many people over the age of forty exercising but without knowing what type of exercise is the best for them.
Why is that . . . is the increasing population over the age of forty not informed about the benefits of exercises and, more important, the type of exercises they should take for their workouts? Believe it or not healthcare starts at an early age.
There exist also an enormous number of men and women in their forties who do not have the proper education in how to train their body because they never have practiced when they were younger. Now they don't know how to do it and how to start. If you have never exercised your body, you should start slowly and with easy workouts--even if you start walking 15 minutes and every week or two you increase the time.
Some like the working crowd are too busy to think about exercising, and others like the unemployed might live in depression without any sense of exercising. Others train their body with jogging or walking.
Which category do you belong to?
According to Web MD Medical News of July 21, 2006, more than 50 percent of U.S. adults fail to meet the minimum aerobic exercise recommendation of 30 minutes a day. I dare to say that in many other countries the percentage rises, especially in sub-developed countries.
Eighty percent don't meet the strength training recommendation of two to three times per week. Strength training is progressively more important with age.
People lose 20 percent of their muscle mass between ages 40 and 60. Gradually, many of the fast-twitch muscle fibers lose their nervous connections. By age 70, most people can't lift 10 pounds over their heads. This limits movement capacity and impairs the quality of life.
Eventually, people get so weak they can't care for themselves and require assisted living.
Poor muscle strength leaves older adults vulnerable to falls, fractures and accidents. Muscle loss--called sarcopenia--occurs progressively with age but can be prevented through a lifelong commitment to strength training. Sarcopenia is identified as one of the top 5 major health risks. Older people benefit from weight training.
This is one of the reasons that you should take action and start a program when you are young and continue it for the rest of your life. The key to superior strength and power in your 40s, 50s, and 60s and beyond is to never stop training.
If you like, invite your old folks to go with you to exercise. You know the phrase: "It's never too late", or "Better late than never." If we care for our elderly family members, we should get into the habit of exercising with them instead of sitting in front of the TV and losing the spirit of living.
If you are economically in the position, you should travel and practice. Almost every hotel all over the world has a fitness installation, and in many cases instructors to help you in your workout.
After finishing sightseeing tours, when you don't feel too tired you can spend 30 minutes with fitness workouts or sauna or a good massage.
Get into the habit of caring for your health and live your life more independently when getting older. The strength of your body is very important because you'll depend less on other people. You will maintain this strength by weight training.
Stay fit over 40 . . . do not become a person with regret. Stay with a positive mindset all your life; and if you never have practiced any kind of sport, start now because it's never too late.
Anton Winkler may be contacted at http://www.healthcarethroughadventuretraavel.com or anton@healthcarethroughadventuretravel.com
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All It Takes is a Decision
by Martin LukacWhen it comes to your finances, you really have a simple decision to make. Do you want to keep going the way you are right now? Or would you rather have money in the bank, retirement in the works and the things you really want?
If you would rather have the money over your current lifestyle, I don't blame you. But how can you get there?
There is one way -- budget. I know you probably automatically think of a miserly person who is a tightwad when you think of frugal living. But it really is the key to getting everything you want out of life.
The definition of frugal living is that you get it for less. Not that you don't get it at all. Just that you get it at a lower cost. All too often people assume that budgeting and frugal living are only for poor, low income families. But even the wealthiest companies budget and practice frugality.
So start looking at it in a different way. A budget and frugal living is a business decision that gets you where you want to be. It is simply a way to organize and manage your finances.
We often get caught up in wanting more. We want new cars, designer houses and the trendiest clothing. We don't want to seem like we aren't rolling in dough, so we spend our money on the things we think reflect wealth. And above all, we don't want to appear as if we have no money.
But that spending carelessly actually results in having no money. You might feel good temporarily, but one day you will realize that you have no wealth at all. No savings. No investments. No retirement. Only debt and living paycheck to paycheck.
Wealth has nothing to do with how much you make. It is how much you accumulate. Companies that make millions are not wealthy if they spend billions. The same goes for the everyday consumer. A wealthy person saves their money and makes wise financial investments. They budget and spend in a frugal manner. In the long run, their goals are fulfilled.
Those that spend on everything they want when they want it aren't left with very much at all. But debt.
So you have to make the decision. Your income doesn't matter. It is how much you spend. It is in your budgeting and frugal living. Ask yourself which you would rather have: that brand new leather furniture or a comfortable retirement? Sometimes you have to make these decisions. However, with wise saving you could have both -- just not right now.
You have to set goals for your family. Do you want to retire? Send your kids to college? Where do you want to be in 10 years? Do you want to lower your bills and reduce your debt? Do you want more time with your family and less time stressing over your financial situation?
Figure out what your priorities and goals are. You have to want to reach these goals before budgeting and financial planning will work for you. Take the time to see how changing your finances could change your life. Then start on the road to successful financial management.
RateEmpire.com, RateEmpire.com an internet consumer banking and mortgage marketplace. Rate Empire is a destination site of personal finance, investing, taxes and mortgage rates. Rate Empire provides mortgage guides and financial rates and information. Rate Empire also operates a financial portal #1 American Home Loans and #1 American Financial
Martin Lukac may be contacted at http://www.RateEmpire.com or info@rateempire.com
This is from my good friend, Mark Brandenburg. He
has some of the best parenting advice I've ever
seen.
You'll see the link to subscribe to his newsletter
below.
A study in the journal Pediatrics found that 55% of
teens who were exposed to a lot of sexual material
in movies, music and the Internet had intercourse by
the age of 16. Compare that with only 6% of teens
having sex who rarely saw such imagery in the media.
I don’t believe young teens are ready to put sexual
content from the media into perspective. If you
don’t think it makes a difference, you’re not
opening your eyes.
It does makes a difference when you limit your kids’
exposure to sexual content from the media—a big
difference. TVs and computers in their room at an
early age might be what a lot of other parents are
doing, but they are also decisions that can have a
permanent impact on your child’s life.
Make the right choice.
Do you know anybody who might benefit from this
newsletter? Feel free to forward them this e-mail,
and ask them to sign up at
http://www.markbrandenburg.com/free_newsletter.htm.
It is free, they will get a free copy of the popular
article, “150 Things Dads can do for Their Kids”,
and it never hurts to become a better parent!
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