Love and the Law of Attraction
by Pamela Ramey-Tatum

Many people interpret the law of attraction as an indication that if we say affirmations and think positively, we can create whatever we want in our lives. But affirmations--like the desires from which they spring--are not creative in and of themselves. If they were, most people would be happily coupled rather than surfing internet dating sites or in denial about or suffering in unfulfilling relationships. What's creative is our own consciousness. This ontological law of attraction really informs us that our consciousness creates our reality.

Indeed, it is our inner reality, our identity that has the power to create. God, the Universe, Source, (whatever term you prefer) organizes the details and presents the reality that corresponds to that identity.

So how does this inform us regarding attracting the love we desire?

If we first accept that we are vibrational energy, then we can understand that it is what we are vibrationally aligned with that determines what shows up in our lives. It is said that ninety-nine percent of creation is done before the physical manifestation occurs. In other words, every thought, every belief creates our identity, and the final result, the last percent, is manifestation--what shows up in physical form.

Since our identity and what we are aligned with stems from what we believe, we need to understand our beliefs and shift them if necessary to correspond with the reality we desire. If you are not seeing what you'd like to see in the area of love, it's not that the partner of your heart's desire isn't out there--maybe even right in front of you. It's that your consciousness is not aligned with having this partner: you believe you don't have this partner; therefore you don't.

If you change your belief, you change your identity, your consciousness, and hence your vibration, which in turn will alter your physical reality.

This works whether you are in a relationship or not. If you are currently in an unfulfilling relationship, and you align yourself with the Self who already has the perfect partner, then either the relationship you're in will change to correspond, or it will fall away to open things up for your perfect partner to appear.

We can't know exactly how the manifestation will occur; we leave that up to the wisdom of the Universe. All we need to concern ourselves with is our own inner alignment, our identity. And this is always our choice. We are the creators, and our consciousness is our most important creation.

The belief that you already have the love of your life must be so much a part of your identity that if anyone shows up who is not this, you will recognize the person as a "no" and avoid involvement. The moment you are willing to accept something less than everything you desire, you begin vibrating at the frequency that says you'll settle. The moment you ask, "Where is my partner; why haven't they shown up yet?" You also begin believing again that your partner is not there, so you are out of alignment with what you want. Stay true to the Self who is already with the perfect partner and you will be surprised at how effortlessly it will manifest.

Whether we believe it or not, the law of attraction is always working. It's either giving us what we want or giving us what we don't want. But it's always giving us exactly what we are, based on our beliefs, our identity and our consciousness.

Pamela is a Relationship & Laws of Attraction Coach, Workshop Facilitator and Author. She works with people who desire to live more consciously, to live from their hearts and to become more fully who they are. She specializes in working with people who are ready have the relationship of their heart's desire. To schedule a coaching session, visit www.empoweringlove.com  or email Pamela at pamela@empoweringlove.com  ATTRACT THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, NOW! Pamela Ramey-Tatum may be contacted at http://www.empoweringlove.com or pamela@empoweringlove.com

Surprising Ways We Communicate with our Children
by Lori Radun

A week ago, my good friend and personal life coach, visited me from out of town. It was an exciting time for us because we have been coaching each other for over two years, but we had never met face to face. We enjoyed a wonderful time together at the Hearts at Home mom's conference, and even had time to spend an evening at home with my family. Once Debbie was settled back at home, we had a conversation about her experience with my family. She made a comment about my teenager that took me by surprise.

Debbie said, "Kai is very perceptive. He is listening to everything that is going on." I thought about the time she interacted with Kai and remembered that the majority of the time, Kai was in a different room on the computer. The rest of us were in the family room talking and watching our wedding video. I know that Debbie is highly intuitive so I certainly did not discount her perception. It got me thinking about how closely are children are watching and listening to us. So listen up and stay alert. It's not always the words we say to our children that communicate our most powerful messages.

Our most basic form of communicating with our children is in the words we say to them. "Suzi, please turn off the TV and do your homework now." "Hey, great job on your spelling test!" "How's your friend Tommy doing?" What we say to our children is important, and no doubt necessary, if we are going to have a relationship with them. Sometimes we say just the right words like "I love you", but others times we don't. Out of anger or frustration, we make hurtful comments that stick like glue to our children. Out of haste and business, we fall into a pattern of not communicating enough positive words. Our focus becomes about issuing commands or reprimands. We lecture with too many words and our children turn us off. For one week, try to notice all the great behaviors your children are displaying, and use your words to praise them.

How we say our words communicates much to our children. The same words said in a playful and loving tone can mean something very different when said in an angry or irritated tone. Sometimes when I am talking to my teenager, I am trying to communicate helpful words. But when my undertone is laced with fear or frustration, he does not feel encouraged. As a matter of fact, he feels criticized.

This is why it is important to realize when we say our words is critical to our communication with our children. Timing is everything. Communicating when you do not have control of your emotions is an example of poor timing. Hold your tongue, count to 10, and wait until you are calm. Sometimes as parents, we are calm, but our children are not. Maybe they've had a bad day or they are in the middle of a frustrating moment. Ask yourself whether this is the best time to say what you want to say. Sometimes waiting until the storm blows over can make a world of difference in how are words are received.

Have you ever been on the phone with a friend sharing something about your day? You forget that Joey is in the next room listening to every word you say. In the next moment, Joey chimes into the conversation, asking for clarification on what or who you're talking about. Now, you can use this form of communication as a positive reinforcement for your child. When talking to Grandma, tell her what a great job Maggie is doing with potty training. Believe me, Maggie will hear you. However, if you don't want your children to receive your words, be careful when you are talking to other people and your children are within earshot.

The things we don't say are powerful communicators to our children. Sometimes we don't say enough positive and encouraging words to our children. What is this telling our children? Other times we don't communicate something important to our children, like letting a judgmental comment they make pass us by. What are we teaching our children in this moment? The things we don't say can work in a positive way as well. If our children make a mistake, and you see the effects if has on them, sometimes saying nothing at all is the best way to handle things. By choosing not to lecture them, you allow your children to feel and suffer the natural consequences that come from making this mistake. Often times, we want to rescue our children and save them from feeling pain, but this does not teach them valuable lessons they sometimes need to learn.

The actions we take and the choices we make say a lot to our children. Whether it's a sigh, a roll of the eyes, or a lie we tell a stranger on the phone, our children are watching and listening. You know the saying, "Actions speak louder than words". I was born and raised in Missouri - the Show Me State. Words mean nothing if they are not backed by actions. Show your children how you want them to behave. Show your children that you love them. Show your children what you want them to value in life. By being their role model, you are communicating your expectations to them.

The other night my five year old was lying down in bed with me. He knows my routine by my actions. He asked me how much longer I was going to read. I told him I was finishing up the last two pages of a chapter and then I was going to turn off the light. He said to me, "Okay, I am going to fall asleep after you say your prayers". In a very subtle, but powerful way, I have communicated to my child that God and prayer are important.

What do you want to communicate to your children? Think about what you say, how you say it, when you communicate, the words you don't say, and your behaviors. These are all ways you can send heartfelt and encouraging messages to your children.

Lori Radun is a certified life coach and founder of True to You Life Coaching, LLC. She coaches moms to create peaceful, balanced and fulfilling lives by helping them honor their authenticity, identify and achieve goals, and make lasting changes in their life. Lori writes a FREE monthly ezine titled Smell the Coffee and the Cookies Too! To subscribe, go to her website at http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com . Lori Radun may be contacted at http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com

---