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Emerson Publications
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The Family First
Newsletter In this issue:
Grandparenting Across the Miles Goal-Setting for Kids ~ How Positive Pictures Promote Achieving Kids The
Benefits of Taking Your Child Outdoors
Good morning!
We have two birthdays in our family today. My youngest daughter and a granddaughter. I remember when Bratty Daughter was insistent that her niece not be born on her birthday. Now that she's matured a bit, she thinks it's pretty cool to share the birthday. I wish we weren't all separated by so many miles so that we could share the celebration as well.
I spent a couple of days at our daughter's beach house this past weekend. I love the beach. Love being in the ocean and lying on the sand. The only thing that makes that even better is doing it with my kids and grandkids. They all love the water and some of our best times include talking while playing on the boogie boards.
I hope you are making time to spend with the ones you love. I know from experience that there is never any "free time," but if you want to do something badly enough, you will find time for it. For me, I calendar everything. My family knows it, so they know to let me know early if I need to put something on the calendar. If it's on the calendar, I can make it happen.
I am grateful for all of the blessings in my life, and I appreciate you! Please forward this issue to someone who may benefit from it!
MOMS MAKE MORE!
Grandparenting Across the Miles by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. Baby Boomers have jumped into the grandparent role in the same way that they engaged in other phases of their lives -- with enthusiasm and active commitment. They have redefined what it means to be grandparents. But how can you form and maintain a connection with your young grandchildren when they live thousands of miles away and you see them only sporadically? Allan talked about his six-year old grandson, Jake, and the joy he felt whenever they spoke on the phone. "He called me the other day and said, 'Papa, I just saw the moon! It looked like a smile turned on its side.' I could visualize the big smile on his face and that brought an even bigger one to mine. When Jake was just three and we were visiting him, I had shown him the full moon early one winter night. I had explained to him that, even though we lived very far away, we saw the same moon in our home that he saw in his. We decided that the moon would be 'our friend,' and ever since then we have shared this special connection." If you are living far from your grandchildren, you too can bond in a profound way. Use the same sense of creativity that you have mastered in other areas of your life to build a relationship that grows through the years. Here are 5 original tips from other grandparents -- see what worked for them and let your imagination run free as you decide what works for you. 1. Susan had enjoyed music all her life and had a soft, gentle voice. When her first grandchild was born, she picked a simple song and sung it sweetly to her whenever they were together. When they were apart, she sang it over the phone. Soon her little granddaughter began to recognize it as "Nana's song." The song became a way for both of them to keep each other close through the distance. 2. Carol loved books. She had worked in a bookstore and was familiar with all of the children's classics. When her grandson was born, she picked one of her favorites and began to read it to him whenever she visited. She held him close and repeated the passages in her lilting voice. This special cuddle time became one of the most rewarding parts of her visits. Every year, on her grandson's birthday, she gave him another classic children's book with her inscription telling him why she had especially chosen it for him. Books grew to represent a deep bond between them. 3. Making movies had been Alex's hobby ever since he was a teenager. He had taken pictures of his own children over the years but never really compiled them in any meaningful way. It was different when his twin grandsons were born. For their first birthday, he edited a video of the highlights of their growth that year, complete with music and clever titles. Each year, he presented the boys with an edited version of their activities for the year. As they grew, they looked forward to getting their new videos and loved to watch them over an over again. Alex took great pleasure in making the videos, as he could watch his raw footage many times in order to pick the best shots and put them together. Creating the birthday videos was a win-win for both Alex and his grandsons. 4. A chemist by trade, Mort knew how materials combined to produce new substances. He was intrigued by the way foods did the same thing, and he was an innovative cook. As soon as his young granddaughter was able to hold a spoon, he helped her put the fruit into her cereal. When she was old enough, he began to cook with her whenever he came to visit. He taught her to measure the ingredients when they made chocolate chip cookies and to mix the batter when they made blueberry muffins. The kitchen became their special playground and they had the added bonus of eating their tasty handiwork. As she grew, their creations became more complex and they both looked forward to sharing new recipes as they cooked together on his visits. 5. Some boomers developed innovative means of connecting with their grandchildren, using talents they didn't even know they had. On a lark, Sara wrote a poem for her grandson on his first birthday. It reviewed the things she had done with him -- watching his first smiles, seeing him sit up and eat in his high chair, having him crawl to her, holding his hand as he learned to walk. She found that she enjoyed the writing as it gave her an opportunity, during the process, to savor her pleasant memories. She began to write poems regularly, combining them on the page with pictures she had taken of them together. Her grandson looked forward to her new "grandma poems" and loved re-reading the old ones every time she came for a visit. His parents read the poems to him when Sara was back in her own home, keeping their attachment strong. The legacy that you pass on to your grandchildren will be much more than money or possessions. It will be the priceless gift of yourself. Let them know who you are. You will enjoy the precious time you spend together and they will cherish the relationship with you for a lifetime. © 2007, Her Mentor Center
Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. & Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. are co-founders of
www.HerMentorCenter.com , a website dedicated to the issues of mid-life women and
www.NourishingRelationships.Blogspot.com , a Blog for the Sandwich Generation. They are co-authors of a forthcoming book about Baby Boomer women and their family relationships. As psychotherapists, they have over 40 years of collective private practice experience.
Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. may be contacted at http://www.HerMentorCenter.com or Mentors@HerMentorCenter.com
A 15-year study revealed that women who work at
home have a 54% higher death rate from cancer than women who work outside the
home. This has been directly linked to the high concentration of harsh chemicals
in the home. There are other options! www.familyfirst.fourpointwellness.com Goal-Setting for Kids ~ How Positive Pictures Promote Achieving Kids by Jean Tracy, MSS Children Move toward Their Pictures: The pictures in your child's mind determine whether she'll reach for the stars or give up without trying. How can you motivate your child to achieve success? How can you teach her to stamp out negative pictures? Below is a method that's easy, fun, and bonding. 5 Parenting Tips for Boosting Goal-Setting Pictures:
Boost Your Parenting Skills by Creating Stories Like This One: Pretend you know a girl named Angela. She's supposed to give a book report in front of her class. On the day of her book report, Angela tells her mom she's sick. Her mom knows it isn't true and sends her to school. Right before giving the book report, Angela hurries to the nurse's office where she rests until recess. She misses giving her book report and recovers in time to play. If the above story sounds too much like your child, create a different story. You don't want her angry because you tricked her. 3 Character Building Questions for Changing Negative Thoughts into Positive Goals:
Take time to discuss each question. Listen and encourage. Appreciate your child's positive pictures. Bravo! You've helped your child see how negative pictures hold kids back. You've helped her realize that positive pictures help kids achieve. Don't be surprised if your child loves your story time together. Use such stories weekly. Watch her move toward goals with a winning attitude. She'll be building character too.
If you liked the above tips, pick up Jean Tracy's Free Parenting Tips - 21 of the Best at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com Subscribe to Jean Tracy's Free Parenting Newsletter and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids. Pick up Goal-Setting Kit and enjoy helping your kids achieve their goals. Jean Tracy, MSS may be contacted at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com
Give your kids more! The Benefits of Taking Your Child Outdoors Children are active. Many children participate in a number of different after school activities, including sports. Unfortunately, when school ends, there are many children that do not know what to do. If you are the parent of a school aged child, who is currently on summer vacation, you may want to encourage them to go outdoors and play. In fact, many children don't think about it, but there are literally an unlimited number of benefits to being outside. Regardless of your child's age, it is important to get outside. Whether they enjoy relaxing by the pool or playing sports, they can benefit from the great outdoors. To enjoy the outdoors, you and your child don't even have to leave your backyard. With a wide variety of different outdoor activities available, it is likely that they will never have a dull moment. As previously mentioned, there are literally an unlimited number of benefits to playing in your own backyard. Perhaps, one of the greatest benefits is that your child will be able to get exercise. Getting outside and moving around is a great way to burn calories and stay fit. While all activities burn calories, there are a number of popular backyard activities that burn more than others. Those activities may include swimming, basketball, or volleyball. Depending on the age of your child, being outside may help them develop a love for the outdoors. By encouraging your child to play outside, at an early age, you may be preparing them for a lifetime of outdoor fun. It is best to take your child outside to play when they are young, but it is never too late. No matter what the age of your child, you should regularly take them outside or encourage them to play in the backyard. In addition to teaching your child to enjoy the outdoors, taking them outside may also be educational. Many young children, especially toddlers, love to explore. Together, you could explore everything that your backyard has to offer. To add extra excitement to your nature expeditions, you may want to consider purchasing books or resource guides on bugs, plants, flowers, or birds. They may help turn a traditional backyard activity into something that they will never forget. To peak your child's interest with the outdoors, you may want to develop a number of other backyard activities. These activities may depend on the age of your child. In addition to age appropriate activities, you will also find that certain backyard activities or games require the purchase of additional equipment. While some of this equipment may be expensive, you should be able to find low-cost alternatives at most retail stores. Backyards are fun, but they are even better when explored with friends. Whether you setup a play date with your toddler or allow your teenager to invite friends over, it is almost guaranteed that they will have a fun and memorable experience. In addition to friends, you may also want to organize family activities in your backyard. Backyard campouts and barbeques are a great way to experience the outdoors and spend quality time together. You are encouraged to let your children assist you with organizing these activities. By allowing your child to help you prepare food or setup camping equipment, you may also be helping them understand the importance of responsibility.
Find more Preschool Education articles, information, resources and tips at
http://teachyourpreschooler.com
to help you Teach Your Preschooler
Deanna Mascle may be contacted at http://renaissancewomanonline.com
Don't leave your loved ones guessing...record
your information now. Accepting Responsibility, Without Taking The Blame by Rob Marshall There's no escaping the truth. As Winston Churchill once said, "The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is." And when it comes to our lives the simple truth is that we are where we are in life because of the choices we've made. Some of those choices may have been unconscious ones, things that we didn't really consider or analyze, but we made the decision, took the action, and here we are. Zig Ziglar often asks his audience the question: Is there something specific that you could do in the next week that would make your life worse? Everyone in the audience will admit that yes, there is something that they can think of that they could do that would make their life worse. He then follows it up with the question: Is there something specific that you could do in the next week that would make your life better? The audience will again realize that they can think of things that would make their life better. Zig then lets them know that they just stated that they have the power to make their lives worse or better. For them, as well as for us, it's a matter of our choices. Even if our lives are not the best, even if they are total disasters right now, there are things that we could all think of that we could do that will either make things worse or better. For most of my life I have been pretty much on autopilot. My decisions were based on what seemed to be right, or at least convenient, in the moment without any real thought as to why I felt the way that I did or if convenience was the best course. I made a lot of decisions and did things that weren't always the best. As a matter of fact, some of them were really stupid and I regret the things that I have done that caused pain and problems for others and myself. But it doesn't do me any good to look at my life and get bummed out about it. Spending a lot of time feeling sorry for myself and beating myself up with blame and guilt won't fix anything. And when I finally accept all the responsibility there's some very good news that comes out of that realization. The truth is that if it really is all about my choices, then I can start making better ones. If I've been running on autopilot, pretty much ignorant of the power I have to take control of my own life, I can change that. I can stop blaming my parents for how my life turned out. They are just people and so they are just as flawed as the rest of us, and even if they contributed to some of the wrong beliefs and thinking that I developed as a child, it's time for me to question those ideas. I especially have to start questioning the ones that may be limiting what think I'm capable of doing with my life. What we have in today, the results and conditions that exist in our lives, are neither good nor bad, they just are. It's what we've been able to do based on what we believed up to this point. There's no point getting bogged down in guilt, we have to accept that our life is the way it is because of what we believed, thought, and did. The past is just exactly that, the past. We can accept both the responsibility for where we are and for where we are going. If we look at our lives and see that we haven't created the kind of financial results that we would like, the first step we have to take is to accept that we created our current circumstances. Then we have to also accept the responsibility to create the new beliefs and plans and to take action on them so that we can have the kind of bank account, and investments, we really want. If we're in debt, we have to acknowledge that we put ourselves there and we can find the answers to get ourselves out of it. The Bible says that the heart, or the subconscious, is deceitful and wicked and that no one can fully know what is in it. But it also tells us that our hearts are exposed by the words we say and the results that we get in life. So while we may not be able to figure out exactly what is lurking in the dark recesses of our minds, we can begin to understand some of it out by looking at the current state of our lives. But once we examine our lives, then the hard part begins. Because once we look at, acknowledge and accept what we've created so far, we have to make some decisions. Do we want things to continue as they are? Or are there things that we would like to change? What do our results tell us about what we currently believe? Some of you may be wondering, "But what about events that happen in our lives that are beyond our control?" It's just a fact that those kinds of things happen to everyone. How we choose to react to those events is what will make the difference for us. The same event can be a tragedy for one person and a triumph for someone else. The deciding factor isn't the event but the reaction to it. It's the choices we make that determine whether something will hold us back or help us move forward. As we accept the responsibility for everything in our lives we may initially feel a bit overwhelmed. But it's not about blaming ourselves, or anyone else, for our results. It is really all about realizing that we have had a lot more influence than we might have thought. And by recognizing that fact, we can take full responsibility, and therefore also greater control, over where we go from here.
The same faith that helped David defeat Goliath is in everyone of us. In "Taking On Goliath - How To Unleash The David In All Of Us," author Rob Marshall shows you how to unleash your faith, overcome any obstacle, and live your dreams. Get two free chapters at:
http://www.TakingOnGoliath.com
Rob Marshall may be contacted at http://www.TakingOnGoliath.com or RobMarshall@takingongoliath.com Support Family First - visit our
sponsors and friends To view past issues:
http://www.emersonpublications.com/famfirst.htm
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