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The Family First
Newsletter
Promoting family unity one issue at a time
Vol. 9 Issue 27 - Week of July 17, 2006
ISSN: 1527-6201
©2006 - Joyce Pierce --All Rights Reserved
In
this issue:
Parents, Chores and Kids
A
Positive Mindset is the Foundation for Success
Dig Your Roots Online
Back to school, or back to the poor house?
Good morning!
Hope you're all
having a great summer. July and
August are typically the hottest months here in
Houston, Texas, but it seems like it started early
this year. I can't wait to see what
temperatures August brings.
I watched Nanny McPhee last night. What a
wonderful movie. It's rated PG so kids
and adults will enjoy it.
Stay cool.
Joyce Pierce
Parents, Chores and Kids
by Mark Brandenburg, MA CPCC
If you were told about
a method of increasing your children's
self-esteem, you'd probably be
interested. If you were told
this same method helped your family to feel more
like a team,
and helped your kids contribute to family chores,
you'd
probably be thrilled.
This method is available to all of us. All it takes
is a little
teaching, and a little patience.
Then, you get to sit back and wait for the
investment to pay
off.
Researchers at the University of Minnesota studied a
group of
young men and women from the time they were young
children. The
results of the study were startling. The study
showed that
young adults, who had participated in household
chores when
they were age 3 and 4, were more successful as
adults than
those who didn't.
Specifically, these young adults were more likely to
complete
their education, get a good start on a career,
develop adult
relationships, and avoid the use of drugs. The early
participation in household chores was deemed more
important in
their success than any other factor, including IQ!
On the other
hand, if children did not begin participating in
household
chores until they were teenagers, the experience
seemed to
backfire, and had a negative effect on their success
as young
adults, using those same measures.
So what does all of this mean for parents?
Kids have a strong desire for a sense of belonging
and
community in their family. They want to be a
productive member
of the family, and to contribute in some meaningful
way.
Starting young kids out with simple chores gives
them a sense
of belonging. Not only does it help them contribute,
it
provides them with a huge boost in self-confidence.
It says
loudly, "Dad believes I'm capable of doing this!"
This message is powerful fuel for your child's
confidence. It
strengthens their esteem while bolstering their
desire to help
with future chores. You can start out with small
chores when
they're younger, like setting the table, or emptying
the
wastebasket. As they get older, increase the number
of chores,
as well as the level of difficulty. As a general
rule, kids can
do much more than you think. All they need is a
chance. I was
amazed to see that my daughter could make scrambled
eggs at age
three!
Fathers often want to do things by themselves.
Letting the kids
help will often result in a bigger mess, and more
time to clean
up. But this is an investment in a future work force
around
your house, and family time together. Taking a bit
longer with
the job, and having a little more clean-up time, is
a small
price to pay for an increase in your child's self
esteem.
And when you get complaints from your kids about the
chores,
you can simply say, "This is what we do in our
house." Chores
around the house should be expected from your kids.
These
aren't paid jobs, and they're done in a timely
manner. That's
just the way it is. And it's always helpful to
define the
chores clearly. Posting them on the refrigerator can
be an
effective way to keep them on everyone's mind. It's
also a good
idea to rotate the chores every month or so. This
way, people
don't get stuck for long periods with chores they
dislike.
You can help the "buy in" of chores in your
household by your
own attitude towards household chores. Parents who
show their
kids that chores are hard and/or boring won't have
willing
helpers in the future. Chores can bring with them an
opportunity to have fun together, and to spend
valuable time
with each other. When you show your kids how fun
chores can be,
they'll see them as a chance to spend time together,
not as
drudgery that nobody else wants to do.
Starting your kids with chores when they're young is
one of the
best things you can do for your family. If you
didn't start
early on, you have some "selling" to do. But
providing a sense
of community and belonging in your family should
always be a
strong priority. It almost seems too good to be
true. Increase
your kids' self-esteem, and get more things done
around the
house at the same time!
You may find that a few slow, messy projects aren't
so bad. A
little extra clean up time never hurts too much.
Especially when measured against your children's
future.
Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches men to be
better fathers and husbands. He is the
author of "25 Secrets of Emotionally
Intelligent Fathers"
http://www.markbrandenburg.com/'father.htm
For a f*r*e*e* ecourse for fathers,
articles, as well as a bi-weekly newsletter,
go to
http://www.markbrandenburg.com
A Positive Mindset is the
Foundation for Success
By Monika Mundell
Most of us are
conditioned since childhood to believe
certain things and to follow the system. We
get told not to swim against the current,
not to make a fool of ourselves, and not to
take risks. This inhibits our choices and
unless we take conscious action against such
beliefs, we are destined to live a life of
mediocrity. We might have a reasonably good
home, we can afford certain luxuries, maybe
a holiday once a year or a nice car, but if
something unexpected happens we are in
danger of loosing it all at the drop of a
pin. The tragic thing is that we have to
work hard all our lives to have those so
called luxuries. We are slaves of the system
and there is no real freedom for us in the
long term. Oh yes, we can work our butt off
until we collect our pension, but is it
really enough?
How many people are dying once they collect their pension? And they
worked hard all their lives for someone
else. Wouldn’t it be nicer to work hard for
ourselves instead and enjoy the success of
our lives before we get to old age?
Here is the thing: we all can: don’t
limit your thinking, as this will limit your
beliefs and these will limit your actions,
which will limit your successes! Success
starts in our minds and the sooner we
understand this, the better a chance we have
at achieving it.
One of the most important things for the
foundation of success is making a decision
to have a go at creating it. We have to make
a conscious decision to design our personal
success and work hard to get there
eventually. This requires us to give up
certain comfort factors in our life, such as
stopping to blame others for our
misfortunes. Start to take responsibility
for your own actions, good and bad and work
on solutions rather than problems. Solution
minded people find success because they
conquer their mindset and find solutions
rather than concentrating on problems!
Another important factor is Integrity.
Integrity is necessary for us to find true
success, no matter what the outcome. Be
responsible for whatever happens because of
the decisions you made. Stick to your
values, morals and principles, even if you
seem to run against the current. Most people
give up too easily and let others steal
their dreams! The only way to fail is to
give up. Successful people use their
mistakes to grow, learn and eventually
better themselves and they reach success
because of their strong mindset. They know
that success can not withstand consistent
action and integrity.
To be successful you will have to work
harder on yourself than you work on your
business. You will have to become an
effective leader. As a trusted and strong
leader people will follow you. You will have
to design a plan and then work the plan
diligently day after day, with your blinkers
on - until! It isn’t going to be easy, but
imagine what can be possible?! Here is to
your SUCCESS
Monika Mundell is a successful business
Mentor She runs her own home based business
and helps people to get started in their own
business. You can contact her on
monika@smart-e-biz.net or visit her
website on
http://www.smart-e-biz.net/ to find out
how you can earn extra income from home
Meaningful work. Flexible work. Your
work.
Providing a positive partnership for your success.
We provide team support for home business owners
seeking
financial freedom, time flexibility, good health and a
better environment.
www.familyfirst.fourpointconsultants.com
Dig Your
Roots Online
by
Marnie
Pehrson
There is a
spirit of
genealogy
that
mysteriously
drives
millions of
people -
both young
and old to
trace their
ancestry.
Genealogy
research is
a
painstaking
process that
requires
patience,
diligence,
observation
skills, and
the
inquisitiveness
of a private
detective.
Now your
quest for
your
ancestors
just got
easier.
FamilySearch
Internet (www.familysearch.com)
allows you
to search
census
records,
court and
legal
records,
cultural and
religious
groups,
family
histories,
other
genealogy
sites, land
and property
records,
libraries,
military
records, and
many more
resources.
The site
allows you
to
collaborate
with others,
preserve
your
genealogy,
or download
software for
managing
your family
history.
Collaborating
with Others
You can
collaborate
with others
by joining
the site's
discussion
list. You
can also
submit your
family
history to
the site's
records so
that other
people can
benefit from
your
findings as
you benefit
from theirs.
Preserving
Your
Genealogy
Genealogy
submitted to
FamilySearch
Internet
will be
preserved at
the Granite
Mountain
Records
Vault,
located near
Salt Lake
City, Utah.
Your
genealogy
will also be
preserved in
FamilySearch
databases
that will be
publicly
available on
compact disc
or at the
site.
In order
to submit
your family
history for
preservation,
you must
have it
stored in a
GEDCOM file.
Most
genealogical
computer
programs
will save
records in
this
universal
exchange
format.
Software
Tools
Personal
Ancestry
File (PAF)
4.0 is
available
for free
download for
a limited
time.
According to
the
description
on the site,
"Personal
Ancestral
File 4.0 is
a new
Windows®
based
version of
one of the
most
widely-used
genealogical
management
programs for
home
computers.
PAF 4.0 does
not provide
genealogical
data.
Instead, its
program
helps users
organize
their family
history
records. It
can produce,
in automated
or manual
form,
records for
personal
family
histories or
charts and
logs to help
users in
their search
for missing
ancestors.''
PAF
allows you
to easily
input your
family
history in a
graphical,
user-friendly
interface.
For each
individual,
you can add
photos,
sound
recordings,
video clips
and notes.
It creates
slide shows
and
scrapbooks.
You can
print your
records in
book form or
in a variety
of
genealogical
forms and
reports.
PAF 4.0
requires
Windows
95/98/NT,
IBM
compatible
486/66
processor
(Pentium
recommended)
16 to 32 MB
memory 20 MB
hard disk
space.
If you
are into
genealogy or
have always
meant to
learn more
about it,
PAF 4.0 for
Windows is a
must-have
for you.
webmaster@shelovesgod.com
http://www.marniepehrson.com
Click here
to view more
articles by
Marnie
Pehrson.
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Be
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important paperwork with you.
Back to school, or back to the poor house?
By Tawra Kellam
Back to school is a time when many moms
witness their money sprout wings and take
flight, finding their homes at retail stores
across America. I know that consumer
spending is good for the economy, but I
don’t take it upon myself to keep the entire
US economy propped up, so when my
first-grade son announced that he wanted a
backpack with rollers, I saw this as a
wonderful financial teaching moment. His
school is small, and he doesn't walk to or
from school. He didn't need rollers.
I told my son that I would give him $8
toward a backpack. I told him that if he
wanted a fancier one, he could put up some
of his allowance money for the difference.
That's the rule at our house. Mom and Dad
buy the basics the kids buy the extras. It
was amazing how my son’s perception of the
need for rollers changed when his allowance
was on the line. Yes, he has concluded, a
regular backpack will do the trick this
year.
Thousands of parents are buying
back-to-school supplies. From crayons and
notebooks to calculators and lunch boxes,
the list of what to buy can be as long as
the list of your kids’ excuses.
I know that you are anxious to get your kids
back into school, but there is no need to
take out a second mortgage just to get rid
of them. Instead, use some of these
money-saving tips from
www.LivingOnADime.com and you can
happily send your kids to school and keep
some of the cash for mom’s back-to school
celebration!
*Wait for the list to come out and stick to
it, otherwise you might buy things you don't
need. Remember, the Bank of Mom doesn’t pay
for frills. Any extras the kids want will
have to be funded from their own cash
reserves. I do understand that it is nice
for kids to have “hip” back-to-school
supplies. I look at yard sales and thrift
stores for brand-name finds. For instance, I
recently found a gently used Barbie backpack
and a Barbie lunch box and no one would know
that I paid $1.00 each instead of the $32
that Becky Johnson’s mom paid. Who says stay
at home mom’s don’t make any money?
*Don’t buy back to school clothes. Children
don't need an entirely new wardrobe every
fall. Some mom’s act as if aliens
clothes-napped their kids’ clothes the night
before school and the fashion police will
come arrest them if they don’t buy the
latest designer clothes right away. The kids
wore clothes all year long, didn't they? If
they need something like a new pair of shoes
or new jeans then buy what they need, but
don’t just buy a new wardrobe because it’s
the thing to do.
*Use back to school sales to your advantage.
If you know your kids go through a package
of socks, underwear or jeans every six
months then stock up while they are on sale.
The same is true of crayons, paper,
notebooks, backpacks and lunch boxes. My son
went through two backpacks and two lunch
boxes last year, so this year we will buy
two while they are on sale instead of
waiting until the middle of the year when
they are full price. We will also be
checking garage sales between now and then
to find any good deals on those items. Don’t
be tempted to buy things that you wouldn’t
normally use, though, just because they’re
on sale.
*Go through last year's school supplies to
see which things are still usable. If my
student has a working calculator, the Bank
of Mom will not extend credit for a new one.
*Limit activities to one at a time. Activity
fees can add up fast. One at a time is the
rule at our house. If you can’t afford the
activity, it doesn’t hurt for the kids to
use their own money to pay for it. The best
way to teach them money management is to let
them manage their own money when they have
nothing to lose, instead of after they have
maxed out the credit cards someone persuaded
then to sign up for in college.
Tawra Kellam is the author of Dining On A Dime
Cookbook. For more free tips and recipes visit
her web site at
http://www.LivingOnADime.com/. In 5 years,
Tawra and her husband paid off $20,000 personal
debt on an average income of $22,000 per year.
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