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Emerson Publications
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The Family First
Newsletter In this issue:
Safely
Teaching Your Kids To Cook
Parenting - Understanding Your Child's Temperament and
Personality
Good morning!
Last week I had the opportunity to go to the Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus with my daughter and granddaughter. Gone was the three-ringed circus I remember as a child, and also as a young mother. There was only one ring, and only half of the auditorium was being used. I don't know if parents quit taking their kids to the circus because of the cost, or if that's just all the space they needed, but it was puzzling to me. The benefit to the downsizing was that everyone had a better view. We had a great time. The price to get in wasn't bad - $14.50 per person, but then there's parking for $8.00, and of course all of the stuff they want you to buy for your kid to help preserve their "circus memory." If you've got limited funds, it's always a good idea to talk to the kids before you get there - before you're faced with toys and tantrums. One thing that worked for me in the past was to give the child a certain amount of money to spend while there. Let them know that that's it. If they choose to spend it on nachos and a drink, then they probably won't have enough money for a toy. It's a good learning experience for them...and YOU!
Many of you visited www.freezersmarts.com in the past week. If you haven't taken a look yet, you're really missing out. If you want an easier way to manage your meals and eating at home, take a look. If you go to the site, you'll see a free download with five of her easiest recipes PLUS a full 29 pages of information. If you find something you want to buy, you get a 10% discount as a reader of this newsletter.
Safely Teaching Your
Kids To Cook Both of my daughters, at some point in their lives, asked for Easy Bake Ovens as gifts. The answer was always the same: "If you want to learn to bake - let's use the REAL oven!" The Easy Bake Oven was recalled last week - for the second time this year! The reason? "Young children can insert their hands into the oven's front opening and get their hands or fingers caught, posing entrapment and burn risks," states the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC). They report that 249 children have gotten their hands caught in the oven. There have been second & third degree burns, with one so bad that a small girl had part of a finger amputated afterwards. (The older, side-opening ovens aren't part of this recall.) One of my concerns with toy ovens is that my girls will play/bake without my knowing. I love to cook, and I like playing with my kids. My solution to the toy oven problem is to invite them into the kitchen to help with my own cooking, and find ways to liven it up so they think they're playing. It works great for us. I teach a monthly Freezer Cooking Class in my neighborhood, and when they're not in school, my kids attend and help us assemble the food. It seems natural to me, because we cook together all the time. But after the last class, one of the participants said, "I can't believe how much help Olivia was! She was working so hard it never occurred to me that she's a kid. If my niece had been in the kitchen, she would have just been in the way. I would have made her leave!" It was a nice compliment. Any kid can learn to cook like Olivia, but they can't learn if they're always being ordered out of the kitchen! The best things about having my kids help in the kitchen are: 1) They're much less picky & more likely to eat "their" dinners. 2) They love to take turns choosing tomorrow's dinner as we do each night's dinner dishes. They put that meal in the fridge to thaw, and I don't have to remember to do it in the morning! 3) They're becoming good cooks! My daughter invented a grilled turkey sandwich that is so good I have actually paid her $1/sandwich to make them for me! My son made a zillion-cheese pasta by using odds & ends of cheeses & pasta sauces left over in the fridge. It was so good (and made so much!) that we ended up feeding three families for two days. 4) We're eating out less because we enjoy making copycat recipes of what we order in restaurants. The last time we ordered Fettuccini Alfredo at Olive Garden, they complained that it wasn't as good as the imitation recipe they had made at home. 5) We're having fun spending time together. We cook. We laugh. We talk. It's great! If you're concerned about letting your children use the stove and/or oven, let them start by assembling some freezer meals with you. They will learn how to read a recipe and prepare the meal for the freezer. The actual cooking doesn't need to be done until dinnertime, and you can decide dish-by-dish whether to let them help with that or not. (I like to start them out with slow cooker dishes. They place the ingredients inside, turn the power on, and it heats up gradually. When we take the finished meal out, they can rightly claim to have made it all by themselves!) I've got some easy recipes that would be perfect for your kids to start with on my website: www.FreezerSmarts.com . And there's no charge for these recipes! From the homepage, download the "Super Easy Starter Recipes" PDF file. You'll find five (5) recipes that are quick, easy and inexpensive to make. You may have most of the ingredients readily available in your own fridge right now. PLUS, each recipe also has full-color photos. You will know exactly what to do, because each & every step is shown with pictures. I think
kids learn more by doing than by having me tell them, and if you agree, you'll
notice that working with your kids will also help them with other things.
Look at these examples:
So...instead of shooing your kids out of the kitchen while you scramble to make
dinner, bring them in...and enjoy the fruits of your labor! Run your own small catalog company from home! www.familyfirst.fourpointmoms.com
Is Your Power on Remote Control? In 1939 the world was introduced to a device that revolutionized the way we live and the way we physically move or don't move. According to the Wikipedia Free Encyclopedia, that year the first wireless remote control was developed by Philco. It was appropriately named the Philco Mystery Control. The image of this remote control device came into the mind of a visionary who made it become reality, changing the way the world lives forever. This is another example of what one person can do, who's willing to step out and turn their vision into reality. It's an interesting analogy between the wireless world of remote controls and the wireless world of our thoughts, which create our physical reality. The difference being that a remote control is limited by the frequency that's subscribed to a device, and our thoughts have no limits of any kind - unless we believe in limits. Are you letting outside influences, or the good opinion of others, limit your life? Do you feel like other people are your "clickee", using the remote control for your power to get what they want from you? Are you having a hard time saying "no" to the time stealers in your life? Maybe you believe you aren't important enough to put your goals and desires first. But you know what? We all came into this world, from the same Source, equally valuable with our own unique gifts to express in our own way. We all have the right to the freedom to express them. In fact, it would seem that the world was created just for that purpose, wouldn't you think? Many years ago I was forced to choose between a 24 year career with a major telecommunications company or a business I was building with my husband, that I hoped would allow me to quit my job. The powers-that-be in this company believed that my "side" business created a conflict of interest. When I thought about the demands they were putting on my life, I knew in my heart and soul I couldn't give up the idea of freedom. I choose to say "no" to the corporate prison, the robber of my time and peace of mind. I faced the fear of uncertain income and no regular paycheck. I pushed through the times I felt paralyzed by fear by turning to the only source I had to get me through - the one inside of me. I learned to let go of that part that told me I couldn't survive without a job, and turn to the part that had all the answers to the questions I didn't yet know to ask. I learned to use the Universal Laws, which operate just as surely as the Law of Gravity. It took time, faith, and trust, but in the end it was all worth the struggle. I now lead a free and peaceful life. If you're having a hard time saying "no" and giving yourself permission to live life on your own terms, there is another way to look at the situation that may help you see it differently. Love yourself, and the other person, enough to say no. When you're faced with decisions, you have two options. You can choose from a place of fear, or from a place of love. If you choose from fear, you're doing what the other person wants because you're afraid of what they will think or say about you, and how that might affect your life. If you choose from love, you understand that at a soul level we are all connected. At this level how you feel about what you do is more important than what you actually do. To choose from love means to love yourself enough to honor what you know is right for you, trusting that it's also the right choice for the other party - whether they can see that point of view or not. So how do you know if you're making your choices from love or fear? Your feelings are the clear indicator of where your choice is coming from. If you have a feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach and you're feeling anxious and in an emotional turmoil, you can bet you're moving in the fear direction. How do you change directions? - Begin by taking the time to go inside yourself and getting clear on what you really want the outcome of this decision to look like. See it, feel it, and live as if it's already a reality. - Keep that vision in front of you. When your thoughts take you to fear and worry, STOP and let go of those thoughts. Use your power of choice to be relentless in your vision for the outcome you want, letting go of any fear thoughts that come up. - Look for ideas and guidance that begin appearing throughout the day. Act on the guidance you receive, and take one step at a time towards the outcome you want. What do you do about those who will be less than understanding about your decision? Be lovingly firm, without judgment or criticism, and set the example for them to find their own way to an outcome that's ultimately better for all involved. By following your own vision, you're lighting the way for others to find theirs. Unlike the remote control, we all have a choice of when we use our power and when we don't. Don't let fear be your guide. It's up to you to be aware of what you value the most, take a stand, hold onto that value, and live the life you came here to live for the good of us all. Be true to you. If you don't ? who will?
Sandy Reed, Certified Life Coach and small business owner, provides personal coaching, teleclasses, tools and resources designed to assist soulpreneurs in preparing for life transitions. She publishes a free bi-monthly ezine, Find Your Power, Love Your Life Visit her website Are they paying you what you're worth? If not, contact us. Call 832-201-0863 and listen to a brief 10 second overview.
Parenting - Understanding Your Child's Temperament and Personality As individuals we all have our own temperament and personality but what many parents do not appreciate is that we are born with the former and that the later develops over time and is influenced considerably by our environment. A child's temperament will include such things as his level of activity, how adaptable he is, how easily distracted he is and how sensitive he is. For many parents a child's temperament becomes a source of frustration since the child is born with this and, despite the parent's best efforts, it cannot be changed to any substantial degree. If your child is naturally sensitive then you are not going to have much success in changing that, whatever you do. The real problem for many parents is that they fail to see the advantage in the fact that a child's temperament is largely set at birth. Raising a child is immensely complex at the best of times, but having a fixed base from which to work has tremendous advantages and the secret is not to try to change your child's temperament but to work with it. The fact that you know that your child is exceptionally active, is not easily distracted or demonstrates a particularly high level of emotional expression gives you an excellent basis for understanding your child and for devising a strategy which works with your child's temperament to help him to develop and to reach his full potential. Personality by contrast is a whole different ball game and is a far more complex and less well understood area than temperament. Experts disagree widely about just what shapes a person's personality and the degree to which various factors influence the development of personality. There is little doubt however that a child is born with at least the basis of his personality inherited from his parents and that his personality will be shaped by his environment and, to a degree, by his own experience and perception of that environment. There are however many other factor which come into play and such things as culture and the role by a child's parents are also extremely important is forming a child's personality. Whatever view the so-called 'experts' might form about personality one thing is certain and that is that we can all recognize different types of personality fairly easily since personality, when all is said and done, is nothing more than those characteristics which make up the individual and set him apart from others. Your child may for example be serious, quiet and reserved or may be very assertive and outspoken. He may be a very organized and practical individual or may be particularly good with other people and be warm-hearted and popular. Once again the secret is to recognize your child's personality but, in this case, to understand that personality is not set in stone and can be altered, within reason, with care and the right approach. A child who is assertive and outspoken could find himself making remarks which are likely to run him into trouble but, because this personality trait is not set in concrete, a parent has the opportunity to work with the child to help to curb this particular tendency. Recognizing a child's temperament and personality, and understanding the strengths in each and the degree to which changes can be made, is vital in helping parents to create a strategy on which to base their parenting style to ensure the best possible development for a child.
Parenting4Dummies.com provides a wealth of information on parenting for dummy or newbie parents and looks at a range of problems such as homeschooling and parenting a teenager.
Donald Saunders may be contacted at Don't leave your loved ones guessing...record
your information now.
10 Parenting Tips to Stop Bribing Your Child
Picture this scenario: A harried mom in a grocery store asks her two young boys to stop fighting. They continue . . . getting even more boisterous. After asking for the "umpteenth" time and having them ignore her, she starts to raise her voice, but stops herself, she knows she shouldn't yell at them . . . additionally the kids won't respond to yelling anyway. She reaches the end of her rope, is at her whit's end, wants immediate results, so, "bribes the children." Sound familiar?
Bribery gets immediate results. The behavior the parent is trying to curb stops . . . but to what future consequence.
In the long run "bribes" don't work. Bribing children can have the opposite of the intended effect. Behavior can become more and more outrageous in the hopes of attaining better and better prizes. It goes to follow, if a small tussle in the grocery store is rewarded with a pack of gum, what will an out and out brawl get, a cell phone? Bribing creates a situation where the tail is wagging the dog. The child's behavior begins to dictate the culture of the family. The family is happy when the child behaves well and in turmoil when the child misbehaves. The child gains power and the parents lose power.
It is more effective and healthier to tell the child that he or she will face a consequence if the unacceptable behavior continues and then follow-through with that consequence. "If you continue to do "X" behavior, we will not go to the park," (or whatever fun thing the child is looking forward to in the near future). By giving a consequence that the child can actually experience, the child feels the consequence and in turn thinks twice before repeating the offense. Giving a consequence assures that the parent never attacks the essence of the child, which can be damaging to their psyche, just the behavioral offense.
Following through is a crucial step of this learning process. The child must know that the parent means what she says and always follows through.
On the other hand, when the child behaves, praise, praise, and praise! Let him know that it is marvelous and wonderful when he listens. For example a successful trip to the grocery store should be complimented. Consistency, follow-through and praise are essential in promoting and reinforcing good behavior and creating peace in the family.
Consistency, follow-through, and praise sound easy enough. Then why do parents so easily fall into the "bribery" trap?
One reason parents bribe is because raising kids and running a household are incredibly challenging and taxing. When half-way through folding a load of laundry the child reaches over and tosses the folded clothes across the room or when traveling up and down the aisles of the supermarket and the child starts grabbing food out of the cart and pitching it onto the floor, a parent can feel pushed to the brink. The mundane work has to be completed, it is understandable that parents bribe the child to quickly nix the bad behavior and finish the one of many task on their long daily list.
It is definitely tempting to bribe children to stop the disruptive behavior with a new toy or a snack. However, rewarding the negative behavior with a bribe ultimately leads the child back to that same unacceptable behavior, the next time with a vengeance.
It is really important to be your child's advocate. Think about the tools your child needs to be equipped for teen years and adulthood. As hard as it is not to appease in the moment, consider the child's future interests. The goal of a parent is to help mold a fantastic person and give the necessary tools a child needs to have a great life.
Here are ten tips for parents who want to find an alternative to "bribery":
1. Immediately respond to the incident making sure that the child realizes that her behavior is unacceptable. Little kids need to be educated about right and wrong.
2. Use words the child will understand to explain that you are upset. Don't assume she knows why you are unhappy. "Tammy, pulling the folded clothes out of the laundry basket is not okay. Mommy worked hard to fold those clothes. We have discussed this before. I am giving you a three minute time-out."
3. Follow-through, act immediately, and do what you say you are going to do. Do not make idle threats.
4. Ask the child to apologize.
5. Reward the child with a huge hug and kiss and thank him for completing the time-out. Then let it go. It is not fair to your child to dwell on an incident after he has completed the time-out, or you have taken away a toy or privilege.
6. Do not feel guilty that you had to reprimand your child. It is your obligation to your child to teach her proper behavior. If you are calm and choose an appropriate consequence then you are being a great parent.
7. Be on the look out for good behavior. How refreshing it is for kids to have their positive behavior recognized . . . especially when they weren't expecting it to be noticed.
8. Keep a tally of all of the good behavior over the course of the day and reward with an extra story at bedtime, an extra fun craft project, or a "tickle extravaganza." But most importantly, let the child know how proud you are of him or her and how much you love him/her.
9. Talk your children up! Say, "I have the most wonderful kids! I love to be with them!" Kids do hear you when you talk about them, loud and clear. Make sure that the majority of what they hear makes them feel warm and nurtured, loved, respected and cherished.
10. Children want limits set. They feel out of control if you don't make the boundaries clear, and that scares them. Children want you to be the parent. One of the most wonderful gifts that you can give to your kids is to teach them how to behave properly.
Guiding children through the tough stages of childhood creates parenting opportunities for teaching lessons in manners and good behavior. By promoting peace, quiet and good behavior in the home, parents create a fertile environment that encourages growth and development.
Elena Neitlich is the owner and CEO of Moms on Edge, LLC. Her company designs, manufactures and sells children's behavioral products. The mission of Moms on Edge is to promote peace, quiet and good behavior and help alleviate the stress parents can feel as they navigate their children through the tough stages of childhood.
Elena is the mother of Noah (5) and Seth (2) and is committed to raising really great people.
Elena Neitlich may be contacted at http://www.momsonedge.com or elena@momsonedge.com Support Family First - visit our
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