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The Family First
Newsletter
Promoting family unity one issue at a time
Vol. 9 Issue 36 - Week of October 2, 2006
ISSN: 1527-6201
©2006 - Joyce Pierce --All Rights Reserved
In
this issue:
Affirmations
Enjoy Trick-Or-Treating With These 5 Easy To Remember Halloween Safety Tips
The Power of Expectation
5 Tips for Surviving Your Midlife Crisis
Good morning!
I am sorry for all of the emails you are getting
from my site. I assure you that I am not
sending them. I've contacted Yahoo Groups and
have also changed my password, but so far, nothing
is working. I hope you'll just delete or
ignore any emails that don't have my standard
subject line, which is "Family First - today's
date."
Please forward
this issue to someone who may benefit from it!
Joyce Pierce
Affirmations
by Marilyn Mackenzie
Recently, while re-reading Zig Ziglar's Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World I was reminded that our public school kids hear eight negative comments for every affirmation they receive. That's sad, because receiving positive feedback helps us all perform better.
This may be one reason that performance and testing results are often better for home-educated kids than kids in public schools. Home schooled children receive affirmations throughout the day!
If you've visited public schools, you've most likely discovered that classrooms are chaotic. Teachers raise their voices and verbally discipline students often far more than they educate or instruct. Since more and more students have been diagnosed with ADHD, it must be horribly difficult for them to filter the chaos. That has to result in their behaviors being less than desired, and the cycle continues. As they cannot concentrate, they act out, and more chaos results. And that just makes the teachers raise their voices more as well. Zig Ziglar also states that there are two times during the day when we humans are more receptive to positive comments about ourselves - the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night.
Think about this. Most families - no matter whether the children are in the public school system, in private schools, or home schooled - find that their early mornings are utter chaos. Breakfast, if there is one, is often snatched and eaten as adults and children run out the door.
Imagine what a difference it might make in our own lives and in the lives of our children if we woke just a few minutes earlier each day so we could spend time in medication before the day really began. We would certainly start out on a more peaceful journey if we did that. And what if we worked to make our children's day more peaceful from the very beginning by being more organized?
What if we made a point of offering affirmations for each family member as the day began? That might help them survive the chaos of the rest of the day.
Having busy kids doesn't make them happier or smarter. In fact, it's probably putting more stress on them than they need. How many kids really need to be in every sport during every season? How many need to take four kinds of dancing lessons? Perhaps some of those activities could be cut from their schedules in favor or more family time.
Family meals used to be an excellent way for families to stay in touch and to have family discussions. It was also a great way for kids to learn to respect the wisdom of parents. With all we're finding out about how unhealthy fast food is, home cooked meals would probably be better for our families anyway. What if we tried to have at least three or four evenings with family meals and family discussions?
Children used to be tucked into bed with a story book, perhaps a song or two, and prayer. Shouldn't our children be afforded at least some of that? Remember, affirmations given at the beginning and end of each day are more palatable and more believable. Marilyn Mackenzie has been writing about home, family, faith and nature for over 40 years. She is an author on http://www.Writing.Com which is a site for Creative Writers. Her portfolio can be found at http://www.Writing.Com/authors/kenzie. Marilyn Mackenzie may be contacted at http://Writing.Com/authors/kenzie or kenzie@writing.com
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Enjoy Trick-Or-Treating With These 5 Easy To Remember Halloween Safety Tips
by Nicola Kennedy
When it comes to Halloween, most kids think of the fun, the candy and the dressing up. What they don’t think about is the dark and the danger that can be a part of Halloween night. Here are some common sense safety tips to keep you and your children safe this coming Halloween:
Always carry a flashlight! – This is especially important if you are going trick-or-treating in an area without streetlights. Uneven pavement along the side of the road, holes in the turf along the edge of the street, and any kind of debris in your walking path can cause a serious fall. Not only will a flashlight help you find your way, but it will alert drivers of your location like a beacon.
Wear reflective tape! – It may not be the most stylish, but reflective tape is one of the best and easiest ways to make you noticeable to drivers. You can get it in several different colors, so you can blend it in with your clothing or costume as best you can. You can place it around the entire outline of your trick-or-treat bag, as well, for that extra added visibility.
Make sure to stay in a group! – Certainly don’t send your children out by themselves, but also plan on going in a group with other parents and their kids. The larger the group, the more unlikely it will be that you find yourself and your kids in trouble.
Visit homes of people you know! – Although this may mean a trip in the car instead of walking this Halloween, it is safer to stick with those people you know and trust when accepting candy. Most people are friendly and trustworthy, but if you don’t know them you don’t know that for sure. It is best to know, especially if your kids will be eating what is given to them.
Look for organized gatherings – When you want to keep your kids safe and within a confined area, look for organized gatherings celebrating Halloween instead of going out. You won’t have to worry about cars, you won’t have to worry about bullies, and you really won’t have to worry about the candy and goodies your child is getting.
These are just a few of the ways you can keep your children safe this Halloween. Contact your local police department or on safety websites for a more complete list that you and your children can follow.
Nicola always enjoys Halloween parties with her family. Visit her Halloween site for tips and information about kids halloween costume ideas at http://Childrens-Halloween-Costumes.Best-Halloween.com
This article may be reprinted in full so long as the resource box and the live links are included intact. All rights reserved. Copyright Best-Halloween.com Nicola Kennedy may be contacted at or info@cinneide.net
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The Power of Expectation
by Ted & Christine Segura
A great majority of people would say “wish they had” instead of expecting that they will have. This is mainly because we are not taught to be forward-looking. Thus, we do not become future-oriented. We have problems in relationship and we tend to look at our environment, at what we have and with what resources we have at present.
We also have the tendency to get stuck in the past. And worse, many live in the past with past regards. Their common phrase is “I wish I had…” instead of “I’m glad I did”.
This is particularly true in relationships. We wish we had said this or done that to the ones we love such as “I have been looking forward to hearing from you.”. And our tendency to be limited in our thinking and imagination has, in fact, limited the growth of these relationships. And we tend to focus on our problems in relationship.
The good news is, we can learn to be forward-looking. How do you see your relationship in the future? How do you picture your relationship developing? Is it getting stronger, able to overcome difficulties in life? Do you bond instead of break up in the face of adversities or challenges in life?
A major factor in determining where your relationship will go in the future is basically your attitude on how you look at it in the future. What do you want your relationship to be? Where do you want it to go? Do you want it to mature to a level that you can take anything life throws your way? Do you want to see the relationship develop that you and your partner can just enjoy each other regardless of whatever circumstance you are in?
I remember my experience when I passed a difficult time. I was looking for jobs as I had been part of a plant downsizing activity where some of us managers were given an “early retirement” package. The basic question that came out is how to survive in the next few months without a regular job. What about the children’s schooling, paying the bills, etc.?
Instead of complaining at the situation, and arguing about the looming financial crisis when the “retirement” package runs out, my spouse and I bonded, closed ranks and said to ourselves that we will weather this financial crisis and come out with more experience as to how to handle ourselves in crisis.
We expected and believed something better will come our way. And true enough, the crisis made us closer and we even felt invincible that we can overcome any situation, any difficulty as long as we are united as a couple, as a family.
We saw this situation as a learning experience. With a positive attitude, belief in ourselves and faith in God, we found ourselves in a better situation. We overcame potential problems in relationship.
We had pictured a better and stronger relationship in the future. We had seen it in our mind’s eye. We wanted and expected this kind of a relationship. And we have it. We also continue to treasure our relationship every moment always looking forward to a great life. Believe in the power of expectation. It works!
Ted and Christine Segura have been involved in the topic of relationships for several years. They are seriously involved in an organization that helps couples and families in the areas of family life and enhancing relations. They can be contacted at www.idealfamilylife.com Ted and Christine Segura have been involved in this topic for several years. They are seriously involved in an organization that helps couples and families in the areas of family life and enhancing relationships. They can be contacted at ted-and-christine@idealfamilylife.com Ted & Christine Segura may be contacted at or ted-and-christine@idealfamilylife.com
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5 Tips for Surviving Your Midlife Crisis
by Marnie Pehrson
I hit the big 4-0 recently along with many of my friends. Yet midlife didn’t wait to strike at 40. I was suffering the symptoms for several years before. If you’ve been here, you know what it feels like: the restlessness, the desire to be young, to do all the things you did when you were 18.
This phase of life leads some to motorcycle riding, others to plastic surgery, some to weight loss and exercise, and still others to leaving their spouses. This is the "grass is greener on the younger side" stage of life. This is when we ask ourselves questions like: "Why can't we all get better looking with age, like Patrick Dempsey or Sandra Bullock? How can I get my 20-year-old body back? I've only got a few good years left, why stick it out in this same old rut?"
I've seen people leave perfectly good spouses to set off for greener pastures, only to find those pastures
more sparse than the ones they left behind. As for myself, I've had the same old thoughts running through my mind, but I decided to vent them in a different direction. After years of writing nonfiction self-help and business books, I branched out into nonfiction – Southern romance specifically. It's been a fun way to explore all those youthful feelings lacking at midlife without throwing away a perfectly good man to do it.
Bottom line, midlife is about reclaiming your youth. You don't have to disrupt your world to feel young. Here are five tips for surviving midlife that have worked for me.
- Watch your thoughts. Stay on the positive side. Count your blessings and look for the good. If you're married, avoid dwelling on your spouse's faults. Look for his/her good qualities instead. Emphasize the good and you'll find more of it.
- Take up a youthful hobby. What have you always wanted to do but never got around to trying? For me, it has been writing novels, raising goats, gardening, and making new friends. What's yours? Riding motorcycles? Painting, running a marathon, driving a motorboat?
- Take "bliss breaks" two or three times a day. These are small 10-15 minute breaks that add joy to your life. Think of the little things that make you happy – hugging a child, kissing your spouse, calling a friend, working in your garden, going for a walk in the sunshine, watching a sunrise or a sunset. Enjoy the small moments!
- Let music spice up your life. Listen to music that makes you dance, sing, laugh and that reminds you that you're alive. Turn up the music as you drive and sing along. When you have the house to yourself, blast the music and dance.
 Lighten up. Spend time with people who look at the lighter side of life. Look for opportunities to laugh. It may be something as silly as having your picture made with a mannequin in a department store or calling a friend who lives miles away and watching the highlights of your favorite TV show together.
One of my friends says that no matter how old women get, we still have the same basic personality we had when we were 18. I think she's not far off. What are some of the things you did when you were 18 that you enjoyed? Which ones could you do again now? Incorporate a few that allow you to be a responsible adult and still feel young at heart. Remember, you're only as old as your thoughts. Marnie L. Pehrson, a wife and mother of 6, is an author of inspirational nonfiction and Southern romance. She's also been helping talented professionals deliver their message to the online world since 1996 through her heavy-hitter sites like IdeaMarketers.com. Read excerpts from her books at www.MarniePehrson.com or learn more about her internet promotion services through www.pwgroup.com. Marnie Pehrson may be contacted at http://www.marniepehrson.com or marnie@pwgroup.com
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