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The Family First
Newsletter
Promoting family unity one issue at a time
Vol. 9 Issue 39 - Week of October 23, 2006
ISSN: 1527-6201
©2006 - Joyce Pierce --All Rights Reserved
In
this issue:
Child Sexual Abuse - Signs and Symptoms
Halloween Safety for Your Family
2 Easy Steps to Stop Clutter
The Best and Easiest Potty Training Guide
Good morning!
Last time I used an article about child sexual abuse
I received a couple of emails telling me that the
content wasn't appropriate for a family ezine.
My defense is that this ezine is a good place for us
to learn about the signs and symptoms. Child
molestors are closer than we think. They're
living in our neighborhoods. A friend of
mine discovered that there was one living in her
home. It was years before it was
discovered and now the damage is done. He's
now in prison, but her life, and certainly the life
of her children will never be the same.
On Sunday, October 29th, it's time for most of us to
change our clocks. Because I'm known for
not saying it correctly, please visit this website
if you're unsure what to do!
http://www.energy.ca.gov/daylightsaving.html
Next week is
Halloween. If you observe it, please take
precautions to protect yourself and your loved ones.
Please forward
this issue to someone who may benefit from it!
Joyce Pierce
Child Sexual Abuse - Signs and Symptoms
By Wendy McLellan MA, LCDPII
Sexual abuse has affected millions of children throughout the world. Child sexual abuse is defined as: An adult using a child for sexual purposes. This can be in the form of child pornography, submitting children to look at pornography, fondling, touching, kissing, sodomy, exposing oneself to a child, rape, oral sex, intercourse, or having the child touch the adult. All children will react differently to this type of trauma. There is no one single identifiable sign or symptom that all children will have. They may have very subtle symptoms or they may have very pronounced symptoms. I have gathered a list of symptoms that children of sexual abuse are often seen to have.
Bedwetting (after being potty trained)
Waking up in the night screaming, nightmares or other sleeping problems
Showing an unusual fear of certain people, places or things
A reluctance to be with a certain person
Loss of appetite or trouble eating
Fear of the bathroom
Excessive crying
Mood changes, anger outbursts or withdrawal or fear
Becomes worried when clothing is removed
Wearing layers of clothing
Age inappropriate knowledge of sex
Imitating sexual acts with other children or toys, such as dolls
Withdrawing from activities they used to be involved in
Difficulty walking or sitting
Complains of pain with urination or bowel movement
Bleeding from the genital area or anus
Academic problems
Lowered self esteem
Symptoms of PTSD such as panic attacks
Somatic complaints
Regression of behavior
Having new words for private body parts
Excessive masturbation
These are all symptoms of child sexual abuse. One common feeling I have found in working with children and adolescents, is guilt. Children usually feel guilt over the abuse that occurred. It is important to remember that under no circumstance is a child ever responsible for what happened to them. It is crucial that “re- victimization” does not happen. Some ways a child can be re- victimized is by saying to the child:
“Uncle Joey, or Grandpa Bob would never do that to you, why are you lying?”
“It couldn’t of been that bad, or you would have told me sooner”
Child sexual abuse victims usually carry this trauma with them for the rest of their lives. Some children as they begin to get older will start using drugs, get into relationships with others who are abusive, see themselves as “damaged goods” and begin acting out sexually. Engage is self mutilation, such as cutting behaviors. Some children gain weight or don’t take care of themselves so they look “unattractive” to others.
There is hope. Finding the proper treatment for past trauma can be influential on how they cope with this as an adult. Rape crisis centers are usually available in most states. There is also a national rape crisis center. They are a full service agency that addresses prevention, education, crisis intervention, counseling and advocacy. They work with both children and adults. There is also a 24 hour hotline available at the national rape crisis center, for parents or victims of sexual abuse.
Wendy McLellan is a licensed mental health and substance abuse counselor, with more than sixteen years of experience. She has recently devoted time to the efforts of http://www.safecomputerkids.com in their goal to provide parental internet safety tools and resources to the public.
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Halloween Safety for
your Family
By Ralph Winn
Ghosts and ghouls will be about this October 31. But you must protect your little goblins from the real dangers that are out there on Halloween. Keep your kids safe and your holiday fun with these Halloween safety tips.
Halloween Safety Tip #1: See and Be Seen
It’s usually dark when kids go trick or treating, and in their costumes, they can be very hard for drivers to see. Your kids will be crossing the street and walking along the sidewalk, so keep them safe from traffic by making sure they are clearly visible to drivers. You can do this in two ways. One, keep their costumes light. Dress them in light colors like white, or orange, or yellow. However, this only works for kids dressed as ghosts, pumpkins, or bananas. You can also outfit your child with a reflective vest or tape that will light up in drivers’ headlights. Make sure your children won’t be left in the dark - keep the little monsters visible.
Halloween Safety Tip #2: Arm Against Animals
Your neighborhood is probably full of pets, raccoons, badgers, and opossums. Protect your children from loose dogs or angry raccoons with animal repellant. Security Stores sells canine repellant that will fend off smaller animals and even stronger bear repellant that will get the big guys.
Halloween Safety Tip #3: Arm Against Bad Guys
Dogs and bears aren’t the only living danger children can run into. When it comes to Halloween safety, protecting your child from people who mean to do harm to them is parents’ number one concern. We sell pepper sprays that can effectively disarm a criminal and give your child time to run and scream for help.
Halloween Safety Tip #4: Make Some Noise
Personal safety alarms will draw attention to your child’s situation immediately. If a stranger approaches and tries to attack your child, they can set off their personal safety alarm, which will emit a high pitched siren to call for help. Often, the criminal will run away.
Halloween Safety Tip #5: Go Along for the Fun
The best way to protect your kids during Halloween trick-or-treating is to accompany them on the adventure. Younger children should always be supervised by an adult, and older kids, though they may not want a parent tagging along, will be safer with mom or dad around. You don’t have to ring to the doorbell for them. You can just hang back a little and observe, increasing the Halloween safety of your children.
Halloween Safety Tip #6: Examine Before You Eat
Your Halloween safety vigilance doesn’t end when you get home. Before your children eat any of their treats, inspect the candy for anything that looks suspicious. Homemade candies, though they can be a thoughtful effort by a well-meaning neighbor, are dangerous because you don’t know what is in them. The same goes for unwrapped candies - they may have been tampered with. Once you have confirmed that your child’s candy is safe, then you can let them go nuts. You’ll feel better knowing that all they’ll get is a bit hyper and maybe a sick tummy.
Halloween safety should be your number one concern this Halloween, but once that’s taken care of, you and your family can have a spooky, scary, fun holiday filled with all the treats - and none of the tricks.
About the Author: Where you can find out more about Security Door Locks and articles on Biometric Security
"An
estimated 83% of divorces would not take place
if couples asked each other the right questions."
Michael Webb
How compatible are you and the person you are
with? How would you know? Just because you like
the same types of foods and pets does not mean
that you can have a blissful, long-term
relationship.
2 Easy Steps to Stop
Clutter
By Alison Perry
Don’t Let The Clutter In!
2 Steps to Stop Clutter Collecting
How do we collect clutter in the first place? After all we came into the world possession free!
Its all in the ……..
Be Clutter Free Equation
Items In minus Items Out
If you are happily removing clutter but are adding things just as fast then you won’t ever feel clutter free.
Step One
Identify where the clutter is coming from. Observe your life and you will find your clutter collection spots:
Junk Mail: Do you have a pile which contains things you will look at ‘one day’? When was the last time you looked at anything in the pile?
Email: Do you get lot’s of unwanted email? Or are you inundated with Newsletters (!!!???) that you thought would be a good idea?
Gifts: When you receive unwanted gifts do they lurk at the bottom of a cupboard?
Shopping: Are you always tempted to purchase things: books, clothes, storage solutions, etc and then find that you don’t really use or enjoy them?
Undone Tasks: Is your mind cluttered with tasks ‘to be done’ that never seem to get to the top of the list?
Ideas: Are you a creative person whose head is always so full of ideas that it drives you crazy?
Step Two
Stop and Create Systems that work for you! Here are some ideas:
• One in one out. If you buy a new item then another can go
• Purchase only consumables for a set amount of time
• When you are about to make a purchase ask yourself: ‘Do I really need this? Do I really want this? Will this add value to my life?’
• Unsubscribe to unread newsletters – cut the clutter in your inbox
• Get taken off the junk mailing contact lists
• Put all your ideas on paper, into a folder and off your mind
• Open your mail by the waste bin – dispose of junk mail straight away
• Talk to friends and family about gifting to charity on your behalf or be brave and let them know what you’d really like for your birthday!
Rejoice!
Enjoy what you have and…..
work towards a vision of your perfect environment.
Shed your physical and emotional clutter and find your true self and unlimited potential.
Happiness starts with being the real, authentic you. I help clients access their, sometimes lost, authentic selves and realize their desires. To start your journey straightaway: http://www.beclutterfree.co.uk/workbook.htm
Source: www.isnare.com
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The Best And The Easiest Potty Training GuideBy Adwina Jackson
I bet many parents are looking for the best potty training technique. So, don’t waste your time. Just sit down, relax, and enjoy this piece of writing.
I call it the ABC’s Toddlin’ Steps Guide. You won’t have to make it to Z, but by the time you get to J, your toddler will be on his potty training way!
The ABC’s Toddlin’ Steps
There’s one helpful tip before we get ready for “A.” I find that it always makes potty training run a little smoother if you give your toddler as much liquids as he wants to drink during training! Think about it! It does make sense, huh? If you give him lots of water then he’ll want to potty more, right? The downside is you don’t want him to have to potty after he’s gone to bed. This increases the chance that he may have to potty in his sleep. Okay, let’s move on to Step A.
A. Interest in containers
This game is the oldest toddler game in history, but it works! Play this with your toddler on a daily basis. You put the blocks into containers. You can then watch your toddler take them out. Then, play the game in reverse. This game shows your toddler that it’s okay to put things into a container. Get it? Eventually, he’ll want to put his bowel movements into the potty as well. You can expand on the game by using just about anything you have around the house.
B. Let baby play with toilet
I know what you’re thinking. I didn’t say IN the toilet I said WITH the toilet. Also note that I’m not saying let him play with a dirty, filthy, germ infested toilet. I said, “With.”
I am giving you the benefit of the doubt that you’ll make sure the toilet is disinfected first. Come on! This is your child’s first experience with the toilet. He’s probably a little bit more than curious about it! You can tell him about the experience when he’s sixteen. Let him play with this as long as he’s not hurting anything. He’ll grow to feel like the toilet seat is a pretty cool thing until he has to clean it, of course.
C. Open the toilet lid
I am simply stating that sooner or later your very intelligent baby will figure out that the lid goes up. Hopefully he’ll be potty trained before it does. Again, the idea is for him to grow accustomed to the toilet.
D. Tell the toddler he can use it
The key to this part of the training is to let your child decide on his OWN whether he’s going to use it. Tell your toddler he can use it to see what his reaction is. He’s been placing things into containers. He’s been getting acquainted with the potty. Now, he should want to instinctively know how it works.
It may help to buy an anatomically correct doll to show your toddler how to use the potty. The doll actually drinks water and wets. Buy one for you little one so you can show him the possibilities.
E. Introduce the special chair
Now is the time to give your toddler his own personal potty chair. Show your toddler that the chair belongs to him. I haven’t met a toddler yet who didn’t appreciate having a chair his own size. It builds his self esteem to have something all his own.
F. No one else can touch it or use it!
Stress to your toddler that this is his special chair. No one else in toy land can use it! Now’s the time for you to find a special place for it. There are two schools of thought on this. Some people want to keep a potty situated permanently in one room like the bathroom. Still other people believe the potty should be portable.
G. Don’t urge the child to use it
Don’t force your child to use the potty. Remember, this is his milestone. He is taking a giant leap from being a baby to being a full fledged toddler. Hey, once he uses the toilet, the only way he has to go up in life! It is important, almost crucial at this point in his life for you to give him the room to grow and make his own decisions.
Give your toddler some room and he will surprise you by learning the skills quicker than if you would’ve forced the issue. Remember, he determines when he sits on it and if he uses it. It’s the ultimate in decision making for a toddler. I’m warning you. He’s less likely to have a bowel movement if you force the issue.
H. Let the child feel in charge
Toddlers’ need to gain independence and self reliance. This step in the ABC’s Toddlin’ Steps Guide helps him to achieve that. You have to stop trying to control your child’s every whim. Up to now, that’s all you’ve been doing. Now is the time for your child to start feeling more in control. Let him run some things in his own life. Or, at least I mean let him run potty time. He is the boss. Let him know it and potty training will be a whole heck of a lot easier for you.
Show your toddler what to do and stand by to help if he needs it. But, let him decide when to do it. Let you toddler handle his business. It keeps the terrible two under control if he thinks he’s in control.
I. Give your child options
I think your child will use his instinct once he realizes that you are giving him options. Remember, you’re letting him determine the course of action regarding the potty, but he still needs to learn from you. Let him decides when he sits on the potty, but you’ll have to show him how to wipe himself dry. Let your child decide if he uses the potty. You show him how to use it!
Keeping along with this same theme, let him decide what kind of training pants he’s going to wear for the day. Give the kid options. He’ll love you for it!
That’s it! Follow the ABC’s Toddlin’ Steps Guide and you’ll be well on your way to success. This process will give your toddler the empowerment he needs to start training. Don’t get upset over setbacks.
Good luck!
Adwina Jackson has a deep concern on parenting. Get her inspirational guides about Potty Training at http://insparenting.com/guides/potty-training/ Also, grasp her other motivational parenting tips at http://insparenting.com, a worth-to-visit daily updated blog.
Source: www.isnare.com
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