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The Family First
Newsletter
Promoting family unity one issue at a time
Vol. 9 Issue 40 - Week of October 31, 2006
ISSN: 1527-6201
©2006 - Joyce Pierce --All Rights Reserved
In
this issue:
Have You Abandoned Yourself?
15 Steps to Speed Up Your Computer
Thanksgiving Thankfulness Tradition
The Healing Power of Picture Albums
Good morning!
It's November! This is the October 30th issue,
but I decided to hold off just so I could give you
an early "Happy Thanksgiving."
We're taking a few
days to visit family this weekend, and then have
family coming to visit later in the month.
November is a special time for being with those you
love.
Please forward
this issue to someone who may benefit from it!
Joyce Pierce
P.S. If you ever thought about wanting
your own business at home, this is the month to see
what's available. We have a very special
promotion going on this month. All we ask is
that you switch stores. In return, we will
give you $100 in product. Request information
by following this link:
www.emersonpublications.com/wahm.htm
Have You Abandoned Yourself?
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Kathy walked into my 5-Day Intensive workshop looking like a lost little girl. 42 years old, her large green eyes had the frightened look of a deer in the headlights.
Kathy had decided to attend the Intensive to work on her inability to sustain a relationship. A physically attractive woman, she had no trouble attracting men. Yet her relationships rarely lasted more than a few months.
As I worked with Kathy, it quickly became apparent that she expected anyone she was with to validate her and attend to her needs, yet when they did, she would withdraw and resist. She would easily become irritated and blaming when I didn’t give her the attention and approval that she wanted from me and from whomever she was with. Yet even when I did give her kindness and attention, she resisted opening to it.
I asked Kathy to imagine the little girl in her who was so needy of attention. As she closed her eyes and imagined her inner child, she started to cry.
“I see her sitting all alone on the stairs in our house. Everyone is having a good time but I’m waiting for someone to pay attention to me and see how hurt I am from the abuse from my father. I want my mother to care about me and protect me, but all she ever does is try to coax me into joining the family. So I just stay on the stairs.”
“It sounds like your little girl is on the stairs wanting someone to come along and save her.”
“Yes, someone needs to save her.”
“So why to you think that she resists anyone who does try to save her? What does she want? Please ask her what she wants and who she wants to save her.”
Kathy goes inside and asks the questions. “She wants love. She wants someone to love her.”
“Who?”
“……Oh my God! It’s me! She wants me to love her! She feels angry and abandoned when I leave her on the stairs and keep trying to get someone else to love her. She’s telling me she is going to push everyone away until I love her. I always thought it was everyone else who was abandoning her, but it is me who has been abandoning her, just like my parents abandoned me when I was little. I can’t believe it – I’m treating her just like my parents treated her!”
I asked Kathy to imagine going to her inner child who was on the stairs and picking her up and holding her with love. For the first time since I’d met Kathy, her body relaxed as she gave her inner child the love that she had long for her whole life.
Then I worked with Brad, who had completely identified with Kathy.
“When you asked her to visualize her inner child, I saw my little boy all alone in a vast desert, so terrified. I can see that I have been the one abandoning him. I am always trying to get a woman to love him the way he wants to be loved. Even though I was married to wonderful women in both of my marriages, the marriages fell apart. Until now I thought that I had married the wrong women, but now I see that no matter how wonderful and loving a woman is, I have always been resistant to her love. She could never do it right enough for me. I ended up having lots of affairs, always looking for the woman who could get me out of that desert. I can see from Kathy’s work that I need to be the one to take him out of that desert and love him. I need to give him the valuing and attention that I have always been trying to get from a woman.”
I worked with both Brad and Kathy on developing a connection with the highest part of themselves, their Higher Selves. By connecting with this loving part of themselves, they began to develop their loving Adult self – the part of them capable of giving themselves the love that they had always sought from others. Both Brad and Kathy left the 5-day intensive without the life-long deep aloneness that was the result of having abandoned themselves. Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. may be contacted at http://www.innerbonding.com or margaret@innerbonding.com
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15 Steps to Speed Up Your Computer
by Pinky McBanon
Your question, how do I speed up my computer? You get frustrated when your computer is very slow. You can now save yourself from aggravation especially when you are very busy working. I will show you 15 steps to do to speed up your computer.
Let me enumerate them: As I have also mentioned on my previous articles
1. Defrag your computer at least once every two weeks (I do it once a week). Go to start>accessories>system tools>disk defragmenter. You can click on "analyze" first before you choose defrag, it will tell you if you need to defrag. Just defrag it even if it reports you don't need to.
2. Do Disk Clean Up at least once every two weeks (again, I do this once a week). Go to start>accessories>system tools>disk clean up. It will analyze your disk and will generate reports. I suggest you delete files from the recycle bin and the files located in the temporary files folder. Note: I avoid compressing files. It's your call.
3. Clean up your program files, delete and uninstall unwanted programs on your computer. Go to control panel>add remove programs. Make sure you restart your computer after uninstalling or removing the program so that complete deletion will take place.
4. Delete all files (temporary files and cookies from the computer). Here's how: open a browser. On top of the browser click on tools>internet options>delete files and then delete cookies. Make your history set to (0). Others wants it on at least 10. I always set mine to (0).
5. You have to be very careful in installing or downloading programs. Make sure you need it, if not please just avoid it. Uninstalling them is really hard. Many vendors has all the power to have their program stay in your computer!
6. Always turn on your firewall. I suggest you have only one firewall and one anti virus. You get less safer if you have two anti virus running (I know people who likes to have two anti virus programs running on their computer, I don't know why.)
7. Run anti-spyware programs. I trust spybot, search and destroy and the Adware from Lavasoft. I run SD every week, I do immunize them before I do the the entire program to run. I run adware every week too after I run spybot search and destroy.
8. Run complete scan using your antivirus software at least everyday (some do it once a week). Mine is scheduled at 3:00am everyday.
9. Avoid multi-tasking too much! Meaning to say, avoid opening too many programs all at the same time running at the task bar.
10. I also suggest you get a dual hard drive (which I know is now common in the market), one for the operating system only and the other for all the programs, database and files. This way, the computer boots on one hard drive.
11. Also check the performance of your computer when connected on the internet. Go to control panel >network and internet connections >network connections >right click the mouse on the connection available (e.g. local area connection "connected", "firewalled")>click on "STATUS". Make sure on the status tab, you will see the speed (mine is always 100 mbps). The packets sent and the packets received must not have a very high difference. If it is sending too much packets (as in ten times) than it receive (then try to do number 7!).
12. Always make sure you install the latest updates on your computer.
13. Always make sure all devices (drivers, etc) are properly functioning. Go to control panel >performance and maintenance >system >hardware >click on DEVICE MANAGER. You will see all the devices and adapters available on your computer. Make sure you don't see a yellow question mark (?) or this means there is an error on that device or adapter. If so, you need to update it or install the right drivers. Updated firmware might also be needed.
14. Browsing the internet? well, I have my google toolbar installed on my computer and is my default search engine. Their pop up blocker is really great!
15. A memory of at least 512 RAM might be a good idea installed on your computer
There you go, 15 steps! Good luck! Ms. Mcbanon has a Bachelor degree in Computer Engineering and Research in Systems Engineering major in Decision Analysis.
She is a Medical Practice Billing Consultant, Medical Biller/Coder and an IT Consultant.
Read more on her shared knowledge on her personal website at justmypassion.com
Pinky McBanon may be contacted at http://www.justmypassion.com
"An
estimated 83% of divorces would not take place
if couples asked each other the right questions."
Michael Webb
How compatible are you and the person you are
with? How would you know? Just because you like
the same types of foods and pets does not mean
that you can have a blissful, long-term
relationship.
Thanksgiving Thankfulness Tradition
by Susan Penney
Thanksgiving Day is traditionally a time of thankfulness for the things we have. But not everything we are grateful for is something we have. Sometimes we are most thankful that some things we no longer have.
Most of us are thankful for our family and friends, for abstractions such as love and peace, for kindnesses of others, for opportunities we have, and even for consumer products we own. Having an annual day of Thanksgiving where we “count our blessings” makes us both grateful and humble.
Can we be thankful for things we no longer have? Sure! Aren’t you glad you no longer have that extra 10 pounds, that addiction to tobacco, or that bad habit you worked so hard to break? Some can be grateful for a disease in remission or cured, a troubling time in their lives behind them, a bitter resentment abated, or a credit card debt or mortgage paid off.
We can even be surprisingly grateful when some of life’s smaller nuisances are a thing of the past. Maybe the cluttered closets, the weedy flower beds, the piles of photographs waiting for albums, the mold in the basement, or the sleepless nights of new parenting are history! Perhaps your puppy is finally housebroken, your daughter is no longer dating That Guy, and your son no longer borrows your car.
Is there anything in your professional work life you are glad is gone? You might be thankful that you no longer have to go for job interviews, that you will never again have to work for that jerk of a boss, that your Client from Hell has been placated, or that you have learned to coexist with a difficult coworker.
Even children have things in their lives that they are delight are over: an angry relationship now settled into a friendship, a difficult school topic such as fractions or penmanship mastered, an anxiety producing test now behind them.
There is an important difference between the things we are thankful for having and those we are thanking for no longer having. Many of the former we have because of luck and grace, not effort on our part. But the unpleasant things and situations in life rarely just go away on their own; we usually have to work…and often have to work very hard… to lose those extra pounds, pay off those debts, kill the basement mold, or let a resentment go.
On Thanksgiving Day, Americans traditionally celebrate their bounty by consuming a special feast and giving thanks for all the blessings they have.
But this Thanksgiving Day, create a new tradition of thankfulness in your home. Give each Thanksgiving dinner guest a small piece of paper such as an index card and a pencil or pen. Ask them to write down one thing they are delighted they no longer have.
After dinner, as all gather around a welcoming fire in the fireplace, encourage your family and guests to take turns tossing their cards into the fireplace. Some will want to savor what they no longer have by reading their cards aloud before disposing of them in the fire, but no one has to read aloud before saying a final, joyous farewell to something they are delighted is no longer in their lives! Susan Penney appreciates simple ways to make our homes renewing spaces for our families. She invites you to visit FireplaceMall.com for chimney caps and fireplace accessories.
Susan Penney may be contacted at http://www.fireplacemall.com or fireplacemall@earthlink.net
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The Healing Power of Picture Albums
by Morgan Hamilton
Recently, my mother was confined to bed. She had to stay off her feet to take pressure off her hip and rest for several weeks. She had had surgery on her hip so in order to be sure that the hip will heal properly she had to rest in bed. Everything was going fine but I was very concerned about something. My mother is a very active person. She simply cannot lie in bed all day long. The problem was that she could easily be bored and become depressed while lying in bed. I had to think of something that she could do to amuse herself in order to prevent depression.
I knew that my Mom just needed to do something that would make her think she is still vital. I had to think of something that I needed to be done so she would be proud she was helping me. It came to my mind that I had many photos, which I had just pushed in a drawer. They were still in envelopes. I remembered that I had purchased a number of picture albums over the years. These picture albums were still empty, as I had not had the time to fill the picture albums with pictures. I took the pictures and the picture albums and I brought them to my mother’s home.
My mom had troubles with her everyday personal needs so I had hired a nurse to help my mother while she was in bed. When I went to my mother’s home, I was astonished to see that the nurse was intending to go. I asked her what was wrong. The nurse shared with me that my mother is getting depressed. My mom had not wanted to do anything. She was not in the mood to talk; she just wanted to lie in the dark and quiet room. She had asked the nurse to keep the curtains closed. My mom didn’t even want to read a book or to watch television.
When I entered the room, she saw the box I was carrying. She asked me what is in there. I told her that there were picture albums in the box. I explained her that during the last twenty years, I have collected many pictures but I had not had the time to place them in picture albums. I told her that I needed someone to fill the pictures in the picture albums. At first, she was not very excited with the idea. She shared with me that it would be too difficult for her to spread the photos and the picture albums all over the bed.
I assured her that this was no problem at all. I rolled the bed tray over in front of her. When I helped her to sit up with her pillows, she saw she was sitting very comfortable. My mom told me that she thought I had brought too many pictures. She asked me why I needed so many picture albums.
The truth was that I had been collected these picture albums through the years. The photos were from the last twenty years that I have been married. Mom was not very curious about the picture albums and told me she would give them a look later.
I was almost sure that she would not do anything with the photos. I was very concerned about her condition. I decided to give her a phone call the next day. I was very surprised when a friend of hers picked up the phone and told me that that she was helping my mom with the picture albums. She asked me if I was able to bring more picture album so that they would be able to sort the pictures. I didn’t even expect her to organize the picture albums.
A few days later, I visited my mother again. She looked pretty well. She told me that she had organized my picture albums. I was very glad that she had enjoyed herself. I told her that I had to be out of town on business for several days so that I won’t be able to see her.
Ten days later when I went to see her, the box with picture albums was waiting for me. She had not only arranged the picture albums but she had had written notes and as many dates as she could on each of the picture albums. She told me that she and her friends were having fun while arranging the picture albums. Surprisingly, she was intending to start arranging picture albums for my sister next week. Morgan Hamilton is a licensed Financial Advisor that specializes in helping individals to reach their financial goals. Morgan Hamilton may be contacted at http://www.find-cards-now.com
24 Days of Christmas is
BACK! The weather is
starting to cool and your
mind is starting to race
with ideas for Christmas
gifts.
Print the ebook and put it
in a binder to share with
your own family or give to
your friends.
Take time to share the stories of Christmas with those you love. To read more about
it, or to order, go to:
http://www.emersonpublications.com/24days.htm
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