Emerson Publications

 

 

 

The Family First Newsletter
Promoting family unity one issue at a time
Vol. 10 Issue 44 - Week of November 19, 2007
ISSN: 1527-6201
©2007 - Joyce Pierce --All Rights Reserved


In this issue:

 

Research the Drugs - Save a Life
Plunging Into Thanksgiving

Give Time - Not Toys

Tres Leches Cake

 


 

Good morning!

 

I took my own advice and sent about 15 handwritten notes this week.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm referring to last week's newsletter which contained one of my own articles talking about how much more meaning is attached to a personal note.  If you missed it, you can find it here:  http://www.emersonpublications.com/Newsletters/11-12-07.htm


Support Xerox as they support our troops.  This website gives you an opportunity to send a free printed postcard to US military personnel stationed overseas showing your support and appreciation for their service to our country.  www.LetsSayThanks.com  Whether you are for or against the war, our servicemen and women are making great sacrifices to serve and they need to know we support them.  Please forward this to everyone you know. 

 

Last year, shoppers like you were out $8 billion because of unused, lost, or expired gift cards. Easy money for retailers. Lost money for you.  Read more about it here:   http://money.cnn.com/2007/11/12/news/gift_cards/index.htm?postversion=2007111217  AND learn what Target has planned for Black Friday:  http://money.cnn.com/2007/11/08/news/companies/Target_blackfriday/index.htm?postversion=2007110816

 

Remember the old saying, "He who dies with the most toys wins"?   I had to chuckle today when I saw one that said, "He who dies with the most toys is still dead."  

 

I want to wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving.  I hope you'll be surrounded by good friends and good food! 

Please share this newsletter with someone who may need to read it today!


Joyce Moseley Pierce

 

P.S.  Be sure to visit our sponsors! 

 



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Research The Drugs - Save a Life
by:  Joyce Moseley Pierce

Seven years ago I became the caregiver for my elderly mother.  It wasn't my choice.  My brother had been caring for her for quite some time and he had just decided enough was enough.  He thought it was time to pass the responsibility on to the next oldest child.  That's me.

At the time, my mother was living in a nursing home in Tennessee and I was in Texas.  It was impossible to manage her care without being able to physically see her, so my husband and I talked about it and decided the best thing to do was to move her here.

She wasn't in good shape.   My brother, totally relying on the advice of what he thought were competent physicians, allowed them to give my mother Elavil, http://www.drugs.com/Elavil.html ,  a prescription drug to treat schizophrenia.   My mother had never been schizophrenic, and in fact, these "symptoms" were actually side effects from other medication she was taking.  I learned that schizophrenia isn't something you develop as an adult.  It starts much earlier than that.  The doctors should have known at least that much.

We brought her to Houston and moved her into a beautiful apartment in an assisted living community.  It was quite a step up from a nursing home.  I knew it was going to be an adjustment, but I wasn't prepared for the change it was going to make in both of our lives.  Even though this was a good change, it was still change, and she wasn't adjusting well.  I called in a social worker, who called in a psychiatrist, and he put her on an antidepressant.  When one pill helped, he decided he might see even more improvement if he increased the dosage.  Before long, she was confused, disoriented, agitated and out of control.  In addition to having conversations with dead relatives, she was piling her belongings in the middle of the room and waiting for me to come get her.  I'd put things back and try to reason with her, but as soon as I left, she'd do it again.  The assisted living manager told me she could no longer stay there.  She felt mom needed to go to a nursing home where her behavior and medication could be more closely monitored.  Instead, after researching my options, I had her committed to a hospital where they could get her off all unnecessary medications.  My goal was to get my mother back.

The first time I visited her there, I was sure she would never recover.  She was cold and unresponsive.   However, a week later there was significant change and she was released to go back to her apartment.  I got rid of that psychiatrist and moved her into our home.   She did fine as long as I kept close tabs on her medications.  A visit to the doctor for one ailment would lead to a drug with numerous side effects.  I had to become a detective and researcher to keep her healthy.

This went on for another five years.  She'd get sick or have a new pain, I'd take her to the doctor, and she'd come home with new drugs and develop new side effects.  I was constantly monitoring the drugs and begging the doctors to discontinue anything that seemed to be unnecessary.  I finally found one who would listen to me, but it took years of trial and error to find this one.

It became more difficult for her to get around our place.  Because she was required to go up and down stairs to get out of the house, it became unsafe for her to be there alone.  I couldn't be with her 24/7 and started to look for other options.   I found another assisted living facility and moved her there.  In the three months she's been there, she's been to the hospital twice.  I believe these are confirmations that we did the right thing because one of those times I was out of town for an entire week.  She would have been here alone, and in her confused state, I don't think she would have known how to get help.

The moral to this story, if there is one, is that it is so important to know a person's medical history and understand the drugs they're being given.  I don't think doctors knowingly prescribe medications that are harmful to their patients, but if you see abrupt changes in someone, it's worth asking some questions to find out what has changed.   In the elderly, a urinary tract infection can cause severe confusion.  It sounds crazy, but it's true. 

I keep telling my kids that if I start exhibiting any bizarre behavior, to please be my advocate and try to figure out why.  People who ARE confused don't have the capability to figure it out.  It breaks my heart when I remember a grandmother who lived her last years in a mental institution because her behavior was a bit odd.  (I do admit that chasing her husband down the street with a butcher knife goes a bit beyond "odd," but who knows what was driving that behavior.)   There is just no reason that our parents should have to live out their lives in nursing homes when their behavior may be driven by their medications.

If you're a caregiver for someone elderly, or someone with special needs, I plead with you to ask questions and do the research necessary to help give them the very best quality of life available.   It may not only help restore their sanity, but your own.   People don't suddenly develop Alzheimers, psychosis, paranoia or mania, but if you look closely, you may see that their new, bizarre behavior matches the side effects of whatever medications they are taking at the time.

Joyce is a freelance writer and owner of Emerson Publications.  Her latest release is “24 Days of Christmas,” to help families center on the birth of Christ during the holiday season.  She is also the creator of “All They’ll Need to Know,” a book that will be invaluable to your loved ones when you can’t be there to guide them.   Visit www.emersonpublications.com for lots of good family-friendly information. 


 

Christmas is about so much more than gizmos and gifts and tinsel and trees. It's about warm memories, smiling faces, happy hearts, generous spirits, and peace on earth. If you believe as I do that the former glory of Christmas should be restored, I hope you'll get your complimentary copy of Miss Humbug, the novel about Elaina Houston - a high powered executive who learns what the Spirit of Christmas is all about.

 


Plunging into Thanksgiving
by:  Jackie Papandrew

What do you get when you take a dozen family members of varying ages and degrees of regularity, put them in the woods in a cabin with one low-flow toilet and then stuff them to the gills with Thanksgiving bounty?  You get, of course, a calamitously clogged commode and enough tension to earn a spot on the Jerry Springer Show. This is what happened to my family last Thanksgiving. 
 
Everything began beautifully. We encamped in the woods, like modern-day Pilgrims, to feast and frolic, to drink in the clear, cold air and give thanks for all our blessings. The women scurried about, preparing succulent fare. The men did what men do on such occasions; they stood around waiting to begin the traditional male holiday jobs of eating and sleeping. The children sprinted around outside, hands and feet flying, noses running, delirious with the joy of being out of school and unsupervised.
When all was ready, we gathered before a table groaning with good food. We salivated at the smell as we offered up our thanks. We were giddy with gratitude. And then we ate. And ate. And when we were bloated like beached whales, every corpuscle groaning from the gluttony, we ate some more. 
 
The trouble began in the magic hour when men assume their rightful positions on the couch to catch the kickoffs, and overworked digestive systems begin the Herculean task of breaking down all that food.
 
As it often does, the terrible news came from a single, small voice. The youngest child emerged from the bathroom shouting excitedly, “The potty’s exploding!” 
 
There are few things less welcome at such a time than the words potty and exploding used in the same sentence. We scrambled toward the bathroom to assess the situation. By scrambled, I mean the sea lion’s scramble, the rolling, sloshing way every creature dragging more than a ton would scramble.
 
When we eventually arrived, we gathered soberly around the overworked toilet. The evidence of its rebellion was plainly visible and set off a round of groans and gags in the adults that made the kids giggle. 
 
History will record the ‘90s as the decade of the bum rap, when Congress mandated that toilets should flush with a measly 1.6 gallons of water. Today’s children, deprived of the 3.5 gallons that swirled through our childhoods, are far too well-acquainted with the humble plunger. When one was located nearby, our low-flow generation sent up an affectionate cheer that made my blood boil. No child should learn to prize a plunger. 
 
The men, by nature hunters, began the task of conquering the cranky commode. Grandpa, as the patriarch, headed up the attack. He pumped vigorously, then gave a strong pull that sent him flying across the room and left the kids helpless with laughter. Tempers rose, and bladders threatened to burst.
 
Each football-deprived man took his turn as a toilet tamer, but, sadly, the effort was flush with failure. The men began to bicker over possession of the plunger. Sweating and muttering curses, each wielded it like a samurai sword as he took his turn in battle. The recalcitrant latrine gurgled and grunted, but would not back down. 
 
The women, watching all their hard work laid waste, did what moms do best; we attempted to assign blame. The children, who had earlier been engaged in an innocent game of pull-my-finger with Grandpa, now eagerly took part in our vicious finger pointing designed to identify the guilty clogger.
 
Old insults and resentments, slights delivered years ago, resurfaced as brother betrayed brother, daughters cast aspersions on mothers, and in-laws were made to feel like outsiders. Accusations of tissue overuse were hurled, and sanitary practices questioned. Legs and expressions were crossed, and eyeballs appeared to be floating. The family was falling apart. 
 
That’s when Grandma stepped in. Brooking no dissent, she ordered everyone into their vehicles, and we headed for the nearest service station. Later, relief registering on our faces, we clutched hands and sheepishly apologized for our outbursts. We returned to the cabin, where the porcelain privy, having proven its importance, stood clear, the damp plunger by its side. Our hearts once again overflowed with humor and good cheer.
 
This year for Thanksgiving, I think we'll just gather at the airport, home of high-powered toilets, and the call of nature will get a grateful reply. 
 
© Jackie Papandrew 2007
 
To read and comment on Jackie's columns, you can join her Gather group -- Humor by Jackie Papandrew or visit her blog.

 


 

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Give Time - Not Toys

by Joyce Moseley Pierce

 

I've always jokingly referred to my daughter's house as an annex to Toys 'R Us because her kids have thousands of dollars worth of toys and games to choose from. 

They have Play Station, a WII, a swing set, and a room full of Play Mobile and Lego products.  There's plenty to do to keep a child entertained.

 

At our place, we don't keep much here for them to play with.  There's a reason for that.  When they come over, I want to create memories by playing with them - not

just giving them things to do. The things I do have include beads, blocks, pipe cleaners and yarn.  By not giving them anything with set directions, they can

use their imaginations and create whatever they want with these simple items that can be purchased at the dollar store or craft store.

 

The kids are three and six, and some of their favorite things to play don't require anything at all except another person!  Their favorites include hide and seek, or the "monster game," which means that they hide under the covers, and we pretend we're trying to pull them off the bed.  One holds on to the other to try to save them from the monster. They think it's the best game in the world, but what I like about it is watching them protect each other against the monster.

 

They also love light sticks.  Go into a dark room and break open the light sticks and they can sword fight with each other until the lights burn out.  We'll connect them into small circles and then play ring toss, bringing the vertical paper towel holder in from the kitchen to catch the rings.  They'll make belts and bracelets and like to watch the

lights reflected in the mirror as they jump around.  We find these light sticks at the dollar store and buy 10 or 12 packages at a time!

 

The latest entertainment involved using two strands of red beads that are meant to be draped around the Christmas tree.  They each wanted a bowl to put their strand in.  I had no idea what they had in mind, but gave it to them and stood back to see what they were going to do. Next, they wanted spoons, and then proceeded to make "spaghetti soup."  They stirred and stirred those red beads, telling us how good their creation tasted.  They offered to let us sample it and of course we made a fuss about how delicious it was. 

 

I remembered how their mother used to love having her own kitchen.  We never had any money, so I would take boxes and draw on them so they looked like appliances.  She could occupy herself for hours in her little world.  I told the kids about how she loved to do that, and then went to find a box for them.  I drew burners on the top with a thick magic marker and told them their stove was ready to be used.  I gave them hot pad holders and told them to be careful they didn't get burned.  Pretty soon, one of them was cooking and the other one was taking orders on a pad of paper.  The cook would then deliver the order to us.  We laughed as she held the plate up over her head like the waiters in the restaurant do, and then watched her bow down as she served us.  We're not sure where she picked that up, but it was just too cute.

 

This went on for probably two hours.  We were running out of ideas for things for them to cook. I can't remember the last time I laughed for two hours.  It was better than going to a movie and expecting to be entertained.  Not only did we have fun, but they did, too. There was no bickering or fighting between them.  They worked together and

were totally and completely happy.  They went to bed  exhausted, and ate cereal on their magic stove the next morning.  When they went home later that day, I flipped it over and returned it to its place in my office to hold oversized envelopes.  Maybe some day we'll drag it out again.  Who knows what we might use it for next time!

 

The key to all of this was that we were giving them our total attention.  They didn't care that the stove was nothing more than a cardboard box. It  didn't matter to them that it wasn't molded plastic plastic with some popular name on it.  They didn't need water or anything messy to stir.  They were creative and used their imaginations to create a magical evening, and as long as we reciprocated by complimenting their efforts, they were in heaven.

 



Looking for a way to prepare your children the entire month of December. "24 Days of Christmas" is a great way to have your own advent experience. Download this book today and use it for years. Contains a scripture and a story for each day of December leading up to Christmas Day. This is a gift your family will enjoy year after year. http://www.emersonpublications.com/24days.htm


Tres Leches Cake (for you gringos, that's "three milks cake")
by:  Joyce Moseley Pierce

 

This isn't my recipe, but it was served at a baby shower recently and I can tell you it was delicious.  I'd never heard of tres leches before moving to Texas, but after the first bite, I declared it to be my favorite cake EVER!   It takes a bit of work (more than dumping a bag of ingredients into a bowl and adding eggs, oil and water), but it's definitely worth it. 

 

Be sure to make it for a crowd so you aren't tempted to eat the entire cake by yourself!

 

9 eggs                               

1-1/2 cups sugar

1 cup flour

1-1/2 teaspoon of baking powder

1 can condensed milk

1 can evaporated milk

1 cup sour cream

Optional: small amt. of lime or lemon zest & dash of salt

 

1.  Blend 6 egg yolks with 1/2 cup of sugar for 20 minutes

     on high speed.

2.  In another bowl, blend 6 egg whites with 1/2 cup of

     sugar on medium/high speed until ready - approx.

     20 minutes (it should raise and get thick)

 

3.  Mix #1 and #2 together BY HAND.

 

4.  Combine 1 cup of flour with 1-1/2 teaspoons of baking

     powder.  Optional - you can add a small amount of

     grated lemon or lime zest and a dash of salt.

 

5.  Gently add little by little #4 to #3 BY HAND so that it

     keeps its body.

 

6.  Lightly butter (no flour) a 9x13 inch Pyrex and add

     mixture.  Bake in 350 degree oven for 35-40 minutes

     until lightly golden brown and still poofy/soft on top.

     The edges should not get dark brown.  Let cool

     completely.  Poke holes with a toothpick about l/2

     inch apart.  This will allow #7 (below) to absorb into

     the cake.

 

7.  Blend by machine on slow speed until all lumps are

     dissolved - 1 can of condensed milk, 1 can of

     evaporated milk and 1 cup of sour cream.

 

8.  Add #7 to the cake slowly so that it has time to absorb.

     This takes about 5-10 minutes.  Make sure to pour

     evenly over entire cake; otherwise, you can get random

     "dry spots."  Since the edges of the cake tend to be

     harder, pour extra over the edges to soften.

 

FROSTING:

Beat on high speed 3 egg whites and 1/2 cup of sugar

until mixture is firm.

 

Once the milk is done absorbing, it's time to add frosting.

There should not be any milk on the top when applying the

frosting; otherwise, it will get messy.  When applying the frosting,

be gentle since the top of the cake is delicate

and can "peel" during this process.

 

Refrigerate.  Cut into smallish squares and lift out with

a spatula to serve. 18 to 20 servings.

 

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